You Belong in London |
 A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well. |
Yep, watched the midnight showing of X-Men 3, and while it may say Last Stand, there's definitely room for a sequel. However they'll probably need a few new characters, and definitely moving off the comic book history. FX were awesome and Kelsey Grammar was awesome as Beast. D made a lotta fun of me every time I squealed when he appeared, said "Oh my Stars and Garters" and fought. And yes people died. Storm actually got to do something. And deliver decent lines! Gotta watch it again, probably w/ JR who's seeing it...today, and then w/ some more friends. There was a section of Convergys employees there, and it was great fun. Stan Lee was in it of course. Awesome to see Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen acting together and opposite of each other. Logan was main focus of the movie again. Not that Hugh Jackman wasn't good, but again?! Geeez, shoulda been about the conflict w/in Beast. I think they really shortshrifted him, and no it's really not the fangirl talking.
But I really needed the movie. Another sh!tty day, thanks to my OM doing a 180 on what he told me earlier which made me look like an @ss to my agent. I was so furious after I told him what happened to my coaching session that I went back to my desk, bit my knuckles, cried a bit, grabbed my eyedrops and went to the washroom and was kinda okay. And then went back to desk, aimed a bunch of it to JR, and then my OM came to talk to me, and that's where I went "I'm so frustrated b/c of what you did," and started bawling again. And he has the nerve to tell me that I should be so morally upset that I had to tell a "white lie" to my rep b/c he wanted to be the one to talk to her about a crappy call, but b/c he mentioned it and was unable to play it to the rep, the rep asked me about it. And then he tries to explain his 180 to me, and it's like "so b/c you didn't think this thru, you tell me to say something to my rep which you contradict". I was soooo pissed. Anyways, he goes to me "take off at 10:00" which is really only 30 min before my scheduled end time anyways. Yeah, whoop dee doo. And he asked me how I thought I did on my interview out of 10, so I go 5. And then he asks me how much effort do I think I put into this job, and I go 10. And he's like well actually I'd say 9 b/c 10 is pretty high. So I go to him "have you checked my door swipes?" and he says "No, should I?" in that way of 'have you been taking off in the middle of the day and that's why you're always here so freaking late?'. So I tell him, "well if you did, then you'd have to give me a week off. Paid." He was a bit quiet after that. And the kicker is, the centre is behind on monitors for the month, however I've already hit my target and gone over by 10 (which incidentally was what he was threatening in the TL meeting to increase the target to just so that we'll meet the centre target). So not only have I met my target, but I have also met the proposed future target. AND I DON'T GET THE F*CKING JOB?!?!?! I've been doing the same crap as the other TLs w/ the exception making some payroll adjustments (which really take about 10 min), have stats that are in the upper middle of the centre, and I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! JR vented to me about this b*llshit earlier b/c all the SLRs got shafted, and seriously, they have to get their heads outta their @sses. The trainers got appreciation day, where the hell is ours?!
Anyways, I'll have to be more civil when I go for my appt w/ my OM where he goes over my interview. But if he's so worried about retention, maybe he should start retaining the people who deserve it.
Your Gemstone is Topaz |
 Comforting, considerate, and stable. You are down to earth and grounded. |
Well found out who got the TL positions. And it was none of the SLRs. At least not from the looks of it. Actually probably not at all. It went to the 2 trainers that applied and a RH. So out of the 5 positions offered, 3 are filled, and possibly the other 2 are filled by external hires. That is just a knee btwn the legs, kicking sand in the face while since you're on the ground, and then taking a dump on you. Yup, it's going to be pretty nasty back where a lot of us sit. And a lot of us were talking about looking for another job if we didn't get a good reason for not getting it, or namely if people got it that we don't think deserved it. Nothing against the RH, but WTF?!
At least there were a fair bit of people on my team that thought that I should get the job b/c they thought I was a really good TL. And you know what, I may not be the best at interviews, and I don't play office politics well b/c all I see is a lotta bullsh!t, but stats-wise and the fact that I've consistently been near the top of the production team in monitors and quality should mean a lot more than how smooth I am. Pffffttt, whatever. Of course, I'm sure they'll monitor how well I take the rejection and if I just slack off or just keep working steady as usual. Although I really think we should all take off for a couple hours at the same time and see how they like it for dissing us like this. Bloody wankers!
Heh, I was just thinking that I should fill out one of those sheets for leave of absences that I usually end up doing for schedule accomodation for the reps. Hmmm, Quality, well let's see I haven't been on the phones for about 3 months, but considering my target for monitors is 100 and I always go over that by about 10 whereas other TLs struggle just to get 90. Oh, and attendance, well if you consider all the unpaid OT I've done, I think I have 120% attendance. So yeah, FU I want a break from this crap. And to look for something better.
And in a way I'm angry, but I'm also sorta resigned to the fact that I will inevitably get screwed b/c I don't play their game. So I think it's time to get back to school, or at least do something I want to do instead of slave away at this dead-end place. It pays the bills, but doesn't anything else for me.
Had the TL interview and it was as horrible as I thought. However I wasn't the first one to do it. However I was forced to work 11 hrs. They told me the interview was on my "personal time". F*cking wankers. I'm so tired. Going to sleep now.
Well, yesterday of the 3 people I asked, I was the only one that got the interview letter. The others didn't letters which either means that they're doing the interviews in 2+ waves or they're printing the PFO letters later. And they have a new format for the interview, it's about 3 hours w/ 3 parts, done by all the OMs + site director and Quality head. Basically it's modelled after the TL Review/Assessment that the current TLs had to go thru. And since I have mine tomorrow in the morning...I must be the guinea pig. (only gave me really 1 day to prepare b/c I can't really prepare at work when I'm working now, can I?) I'm so looking forward to it, not! Actually I'm getting nauseous just writing about it. I'm not good w/ interviews in the first place and having no real clue on what kind of torture they may put me thru. Or right, shouldn't think of it as torture, just merely a way to get to know me better session. But what if I don't want them to know me?!?!
And of course if I turn it down, then all the other people who got PFO letter would be upset at me. Which is up to them of course, I can't control their feelings, and all that like JR told me, but still. I showed the letter to those who didn't get one, and one of them upon seeing the format, went "Gawd, I'm glad I didn't get it then. Holy cr@p!" Anyways, as for preparation... considering just thinking about it makes me wanna puke... I think I'll wing it for answers, but have a format on how to answer. That may be the best and only way to do it b/c otherwise I'll have written out scenario after scenario, and might as well have a book. Unlike D, I don't rehearse potential conversations.
Read Ranma Vol 34 last night, and it was Ranma's mother finding out. And it did give me strength b/c Ranma worried and worried, and his mom just accepted it. Of course she was so happy to see him that she didn't care, but it's sorta the "not all things are going to be worst case scenario". Although I think I will ask if I get a washroom break btwn the interview parts. So my worst case scenario? I think aside from throwing up, stuttering, talking so fast I don't even know what I'm saying, sweating so much I'm drenched, drawing complete blanks and having to make something b/c even though they say "take your time" we all know they're not going to sit there for 5 min while you try to think of something.
Uhhhnnn, not feeling well. And I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tks in when I get there b/c the interview starts at 11:30 and my shift starts at 2:00-10:30 and I really don't want to be there for 11 hrs. *hurk* This royally sucks. Maybe if I slip in the tub, I don't have to do it and they'll just give it to me.
It was on Monday that I'd requested immediate vacation days from my OM and when he asked why, I got all upset crying and said I was super-stressed out. Why? Trying to do too much at the same time? Spending 9+ hr days at work? Trying to be friendly and happy to my agents when I want to strangle half of them and shake sense into the rest? Who knows. But it was so embarrasing, and the problem is that once I start, I can't stop, especially if I think about it again. So I actually ended up crying about 3 more times afterwards. Once in the bathroom, and then twice again when I was in the private room w/ JR. The only way I could compose myself was to think/talk about anything else. So I thought up names for my future cows in Harvest Moon. Wiped my eyes so many times that my eyelids were raw, and I had to splash water on my eyes the next morning when I was washing my face instead of using my face cloth. And then my tea tree oil moisturizer burnt, so I had to pull out the night cream. It was very rough. I'm okay now, although on Wednesday, when someone said that I didn't look well and I should go home, I got all upset again. It's just *shudder* bad. Like I've said before, never was this wasted when I was on the phones. Although when I was SLR...maybe I should get outta this place. But it's sorta, will any other place be different?
So after the week from heck, I have the weekend off. Spent it getting a VM really late so I missed going to the graveyard for Mother's day. Did an AIDS mouth swab test for life insurance. Crossed the river valley on my own, and spent about 4 hours on Whyte Ave, going up and down to the different optomertrists shops looking for sunglasses. Found a pair of Raybans that came closest to fitting and looking decent but it was $124. Gawd, so sucks having a huge wide head. Didn't buy them though. I'll just keep looking. Got my yaoi. Little Butterfly struck a chord. And forgot to get backing boards. Ate sushi, and was having a very pleasant time too, slowly drinking my tea, savouring each piece... until a quartet of ignorant airheads came in and sat next to me. Then the migraine came back. Read a manga in Chapters. Walked in the park and nearly walked off the path into the bushes b/c I was busy staring at the sky thru the branches of the trees. That was amazing fun to just walk down the path like that, and looking at the clouds and trees. Very peaceful and relaxing. Cooked. Spent about 2 hrs belting out tune on Karaoke Revolution. I think I'm getting better. Played Harvest Moon. Played Star Ocean. Slept.
Pointed out that D's alarm is waking me up even though he goes back to sleep afterwards. Emptied out my drawers and Rubbermaid and sorted comics. Badly regretted forgetting to pick up backing boards. I have over 2 yrs worth of Hellblazer I need to bag. Kowai! I seem to be missing several books also, including my X-Statix vs Avengers TPB. I think I lent it, and several others to J. We used to share books, and he kept several titles and I had a bunch, so I dunno who's keeping She-Hulk b/c I have some of the latter issues. I'm starting to run out of room in my boxes. They used to be sorted btwn families, but now they're all jumbled together. Black Panther is not a limited series. I'm quite enjoying the KOF 2003 that Dr. Master is putting out. Ash was sorta a meh char when I played him on PS2, didn't have great moves, but he's a hoot in the comic. However the SNK vs. Capcom is totally p!ssing me off. Iori's getting his ass handed to him, even Orochi Iori gets captured and killed in one shot. WTF?! And I sooooo hate Bison. Stupid pillow thighs.
*sigh* I don't want to go to work tomorrow. They still haven't handed out the PFO/interview letters. And I still don't know if I wanna even bother trying for TL. I wrote a pretty intense email to my former TL, who's currently a pariah at the centre b/c of office politics, and b/c he and his wife just had a baby, he hasn't replied yet. I dunno what to do. I think my head's still mussed up. And it doesn't help that one of my reps had a call that was recorded and the customer gave her cr@ppy mark. But listening to the call, the customer was a total b!tch. She messed herself up and then accuses us of screwing her. She didn't have a single clue of what she was saying, just complained about the bill. My agent tried to help her, but knew that the customer was an idiot, and you know how it's just too tempting to talk at people who are morons and talking outta their asses? Well that's kinda what happened. So my OM asked me to listen to the call and rate it, and so I said that yeah, the agent was argumentative but did try to help the customer but the customer wouldn't listen, so there's not much more the agent coulda done. Two egos clashing. OM didn't think the same way, and started quizzing me on the elements of call quality. Well I don't believe in double-deducting for things, but he was saying the issue couldn't be resolved b/c the agent's fault, whereas my stance is that the agent attempted multiple times. Anyways, he ends up telling me that I can't tell her that he and the site director are going to pull the agent aside and talk to her about the call, and I have to back them on their decision. Such bogus. I really hate office politics. I wonder if that's half my stress. Oh screw half the stress, probably almost all my stress. You can't just do your job, gotta watch out for everyone's egos, and then when you try, then they say you're being a fool. Bleeaaaahhhhkkkkk!
Gotta get work outta mind so I can get to sleep. Hurm, I was strangely quite hungry this evening. Had big bowl of taro noodles w/ squid, carrots, celery, chives and it was tres tasty. But I was still hungry! So I cooked up a chicken thigh and it sorta filled me. And then about 3 hrs later b/c D was cooking pizza, I had 1/4 of a 12" pie. Like what the heck??! Anyways.... From Far Away is an excellent manga. Orphen isn't bad. I'm hesitant to read Yami no Matsuei b/c I think Vol 11 is the last one. Sorta the if you don't say it, it ain't true syndrome. Reading H's Harry Potter. Oh, I'd cleaned the bathtub on Tuesday(had nasty bathtub ring and was seriously backing up) (b/c Monday was my really really bad day, and Tuesday was my day off) and since I went home early on Wednesday, I sat in the bath for about 1 1/2 hrs soaking and reading Potter. Although I wasn't feeling too well still b/c I was getting seasick. Shush, it's true, the waves kinda made me sick. Read a good chunk of it while I had Anime Hardcore Radio playing. Nice having the bathroom connect to your room, though I wish I had a fan in the bathroom sometimes....it's for when I use the Liquid Plumber!
Your Ideal Relationship is Friends Only |
 Honestly, you're not really ready for a relationship right now. And you prefer to keep things platonic, for now. That's not to say that one of your friends could be dating material. You're just taking a break for now. |
*groan* They opened up 5 postings for TL and I applied, ever so dutifully. Do I really want it? Errr, sorta maybe, but I don't wanna work in a call centre forever. There's that stigma associated w/ it for one thing. And although I'm getting better at not bringing my crap home (by reading loads of manga/comics, playing on PS2, and thinking of their plots when I'm trying to get to sleep instead of what sh@t I have to do the next day), I still end up staying at work for more than my shift to do crap. Want the money, but don't want the responsibility I guess. Or should I say don't want to feel like I've cleaned out the Valkyries' stables only to be told to clean out Zeus' stables and afterwards clean up after Dionysius' orgies. It's caused me unbelievable amts of stress that I've broken down in front of my MO, and probably should've gone home but I had crap to do, so I just took a half hour break and went back to work.
Finished writing an email to one of my TLs that's away on leave, and basically just recalling all the stuff I have to go thru at work, sent me into tears. Even commenting on it now... has me weeping. It's just...I'm so f*cking stressed. I don't know if it's the time of the month, b/c H also had hers recently, and w/ my non-regular non-cycle it could really happen almost any time after 30 days. Ugh, was looking in my blog/memory device and it's been just over a month that I wrote I'd bawled in front of my MO. And here I go again. I'm not quite at the point where I'm leaving dents in my knuckles from jamming it in my mouth to keep from screaming and crying (yes, I did that at work and the pain helped) but I'm getting close. All's I know is that I never had to do this when I was on the phones.
*heavy breath* Anyways, just wanted to make a note to help me w/ my memory. This is what my life is like right now, and I don't know how to make it better. I know it's not the sh@ts and all that bollocks about others being worse off, and I should focus on all the good stuff that I've got for me....but it's just this tiny gap in a smothering fog of despair. (I won't say light and dark b/c it's so cliche and really why is dark so bad? I know the fairy tale about fire and dangerous night for the Cro-Magnon) Going to bed. They're going to announce who gets the PFO letter and who has to get their clothes to the drycleaners...today.
