I think my brain has been destroyed by work....

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

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I can't remember any of my neices' or nephew's b-days. Seriously. I scoured my blog looking for when they were. And yep, apparently I need to find presents for them. Anyways, trying to remember anything I learned from university is just like impossible. Heck, remembering anything is tough. Am I getting Alzheimer's already?

Trying to learn Japanese. I'm like wierd, I guess. I did the "repeat this sentance", and it was annoyingly boring b/c I didn't understand how the sentence worked together, why the tense is this or that. So I'm going the opposite way. I've bought a book on kanji, a book on grammar and verbs, and a book on particles. Of course w/ kanji, I'll learn some of the characters that I kinda can apply for Chinese too, so...I might end up being able to semi-read Chinese but can't say it but can understand what they're saying; whereas w/ Japanese right now, I can say the romanization, but I don't know what I'm saying. Was that semi-colon right? I can't remember. I did read "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" but...again I can't remember.

Mind you it could be b/c I'm working day 9 of 11. The scheduling f*ckw@d put me 5 days on straight, then 1 day off, and 5 days straight again. At least I get a 3 day weekend.

Farewell...Already

Thursday, September 14, 2006

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H came back into Canada about 2 weeks ago, and just got a job offer in Quebec. While it is technically in the same country, where she'll be going to teach is so backwater, travel time will be almost the same. And the annoying part is that we haven't even thrown her a welcome back party and she's already going to be flying off next week. It's a great opportunity, she'll get the experience she needs and in the profession she loves...but I'll be selfish here and say that I wish she was around a little bit longer.

So today we went to hang out w/ our friend T, and I really felt like the 3rd wheel. H and T are talking about Harry Potter (again!) and I am totally zoning out. Even though I forced myself to read the books so I know the characters they're talking about, but gawd, I really couldn't care if Remus and Sirus are bump bunnies or just love embracing each other like brothers. They're completely into the fandom, and involvement into fandom in general whether it be Weiss Kreuz or Gundam Wing. While I've read my share of fanfic, and did some participation on boards, mostly for X-Men, it's not like I have a handle that I've maintained or started groups concerning who's shagging whom. Then they started to talk about history and despite being a History major, I don't remember a dang thing from my books. I really do tend to retain information only for about twice as long as I'm going to need it, so I'll still vaguely remember the creation of the Comic Code Authority, but I'm not going to remember when TX joined the USA. And then the kicker was when b/c H began ranting on Harry Potter (again!) and I couldn't hotld it until we got to the mall, so I had to ask T if I could use his bathroom. T didn't want us up there since he hadn't cleaned since...unknown. Since I'd never been in his place for longer than a minute, I didn't know where the light switch was, and was fumbling in the dark, and T was pretty poed that I couldn't just run in and out and had to show me the switch. And yeah, there was clothes and... things everywhere, but meh. Turned out H had to use it too, so T kinda calmed down a bit, but... it was an awkward day. After when it was just me and H, it was all cool and we acted like the otaku that we are. I'm not jealous of H and T focussing on each other since H is living w/ me right now, but ... I'm so freakin' sick of Harry Potter.

And then the stupid new Sushi place closed at 6 so we couldn't try it out. Argh. It was only an okay day off.

Personality Test

Sunday, September 10, 2006

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My Personality



Neuroticism
58
Extraversion
11
Openness To Experience
63
Agreeableness
4
Conscientiousness
51

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Codes, MySpace Layouts and hi5 by Pulseware Survey Software



Hmm, that's a pretty good personality test. Anger management? Me? The one who gives the finger to the monitor at work b/c it's so freakin' slow that you sit there and sit there and can't get a thing done while you're on the call? Naw, not me lol. And I never blew up at the b!tch in HR who thankfully isn't there really anymore. Hmm, and I have no morality...oh probably b/c I think there's no absolute right or wrong. And since I don't like to be bothered by people, could be why I broke up w/ JR. Heh, his flowers that he gave for 2 month anniversary (which I didn't keep track at all) are still alive.

Quiz: What Color Green Are You?

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You Are Teal Green



You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.

Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.

While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.

Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.



That's a nice colour. Can't say I have a lotta stuff w/ that colour though.

Quiz: How Aquarius Are You?

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You are 73% Aquarius





I don't know what that means. I'm an early Aqarius, so I'm not sure what effect has. I'm not really into that Astrology or Horoscope stuff. Though some of my friends are. They'll tell you me that you're so typical for... you're just like the other dragon-snake I know. Particular when it came to remembering dates.

Why are there so many programs about 9/11 suddenly?! ...Oh

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Yes, I actually made that comment. I think it was on Wednesday or something. Seriously, I can't remember what day it is beyond the Monday, Tuesday variety. Anyways, it's hard to believe it's already been 5 years. No really, I can't remember what year it happened in. I do remember where I was when I found out. Sitting at home, flipping the channels and stopping on CBC Newsworld and going "What the hell? How the heck can a plane fly into those huge towers?! What's w/ the pilot?" and then going to work at one of those big box supermarkets, and hanging around the Photo/Electronics dept listening, and thinking "those poor people". When I found out it was terrorists, it made sense. Not in the sense that only terrorists could do such a thing and they're horrible bad bad people! But more like, yup the American policies and attitudes are biting them in the @ss.

Are the terrorists' actions justified? Well I suppose in the same way that governments can justify civilian deaths as collateral damage in wars. B/c for the terrorists it is a war, and it doesn't matter what happens to the other side as long as they win. Long gone are the days when they'd have a set target and once it was achieved, both sides would shake hands and help each other rebuild. Until attitudes about conflict change, it'll just be revenge stacked on revenge. Ha ha, actually if it was run entirely by the military-industrial complex they'd sell weapons to each party but generally equal weapons so the war would perpetuate, and the industrial would reaps loads of money rebuilding, until the damage is too great to rebuild, and which they'll move to another area, so until the entire Earth is devastated, then war might stop... isn't that already happening to a degree? Well I know it's a plot of one of the Ace Combat games. Getting a little off topic here. We're trying to look at the continued aftereffects of 9/11.

So the definition of Terrorism from yourDictionary.com is "
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons. " So the key in this definition is -unlawful-. Of course there's state-sponsored terrorism which really can be called operations (example of failed attempt is Bay of Pigs), or just coalition-led war (Operation Iraqi Freedom which was largely led by US, bit of Brit, smattering of other countries lumped under "Coalition of the Willing) all in the name of ...democracy. (See Global Spread of Democracy Poses New Challenge for the US by Donald K. Emmerson for further hilarity of American "democracy"). The American govt is terrorizing its own people, acting unlawfully and profiting from the circumstances. It is not mere happenstance that they passed the Patriot Act(2001) and in the 2004 US election, 9/11 was trumpeted constantly and Bush won by a landslide. How different is constantly invoking fear by mentioning 9/11 from making broadcasts of planned attacks?

In an article in the Sept 7 Edmonton Journal, Sheldon Alberts discusses how America has changed since 9/11: "the sense of vulnerability caused by 9-11 continues to permeate almost every aspect of American life. It has sustained a national obsession with security, dramatically altered expectations of the country's political leadership, generated deep divisions over foreign policy and produced ongoing suspicion about tthe world beyond US borders." Now, being a HUGE fan of Jon Stewart and the Daily Show along w/ The Colbert Report, they constantly point out how often President Bush and his administration love to trot out 9/11 to justify any decision that threatens civil and human rights. The GOP produced the 9/11 boogeyman and have gotten the American public into a state of constant stress. What do people do when they're stressed? Freak out ("A USA Today/Gallup pool in July found 40% of Americans favoured security rules requiring Muslims, including US citizens, to carry special identification" which makes one remember the Star of David that Jews had to wear in Germany before WWII), miss details (illegality of NSA wiretaps, prisoners -still- deprived at Guantanamo Bay), look for any leadership (Bush's job approval rating is 36% [American Research Group] but 55% approve of his handling of the anti-terror campaign [Chron.com], become paranoid ("The number of Americans expressing positive feelings about the United Nations...has fallen to 48% today from 77% before 9-11") and generally act like jerks thus making the rest of the world get fed up (2005, Pew Research Center)(2006, BBC Poll).

And while Bush may say that all this has led to the USA not having been attacked again in the last 5 years, do the terrrorists really need to? America is increasingly divisive over any issue, spending exorbitant amounts of lives and money in Iraq, despised by more and more countries worldwide, and completely paranoid ("Other surveys repeatedly show the Americans are split 50/50 on whether the country is safer now than it was before 9-11"). Now is the craziness perpetuated by the terrorists or the govt? There's much to be said about how you react to things, and it's certainly isn't being helped by the Bush administration. However the Bush govt has managed to deflect much criticism by citing 9/11, and pushed thru several agendas amidst the confusion. Only recently have they been under sustained attack for its errors, and that was only b/c they could no longer use the "unpatriotic" label to stick to its critics. So while Osama bin-Laden may be on wanted posters, the American govt has to also answer for its terrorizing actions. Which may happen in the upcoming 2006 elections for both the Senate and House of Representatives.

I'm hungry

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I hate waking up only an hour before I'm supposed to get up, can't go back to sleep, can't lie in bed. Can't quite eat even though I'm hungry. Seems to be happening a lot after working night-morning-night-morning-night b/c I'm filling in for vacationing TLs.

Yesterday was my last day taking over yet another team. Although in this case, it belonged to another SLR who was in Acting Team Leader role. Who apparently didn't know that she was losing her team when she went on vacation. She took it a bit hard. So it's like, uh...yeah I don't know if any of those disciplinary actions that she was planning for will be followed up on. Not to mention their time punches. Oh well, whatever. Maybe I'll remember to remind her.

And so now it'll be a 4-way choice for who gets to fill in for vacationing TLs, not that there will be much b/c summer's over. And they opened up hirings for the SLR position. And the TL position, but I didn't bother applying. I'm so, I don't care. And then they opened up Quality Evaluator. I might apply for that just b/c to get out the whole thing. But it's still kinda iffy. I printed a whole bunch of my resumes at work.

Really, I think it's time to either go back to school, or find another job. I think both would benefit me psychologically. I wasn't born to work, particularly there. Why are we born? Why is there life? Is it to run the variables? Experiment to discover diversity? I suppose that might be why they invented religion, otherwise it'd be too scary for most people.

Hungry.