Friends vs. ...interesting work?

Last week, my old work place called me up and said that they were shorthanded and wondered if I'd like to come back to help them out. Well, considering that for over a year, I'd been having various degrees of wanting to go back or at least get the heck outta the workplace I was at, you'd think I'd jump at the chance. But I was at the crux where we'd just gotten in a new system that I was the Power User for. And considering that one of my work goals was to get more into systems, this meant a big dilemma.

I'd made one of those foot-in-mouth declarations when I was initally hired at the current job that I'd deploy back to the old one (this was when I was telling them about the new job), but being possessed with some ethics, I decided to try out the new/current job first. Since I thought it'd be really rude to immediately leave them when they'd gone thru the effort of offering me a job. So for the first 2 months, it wasn't so bad. But then I started to notice the stupidty and lack of basic ethics. I've discussed the extra lengthy breaks with managers and other advisors, and the basic advice is they can't/don't want to police it, and to ignore it if it doesn't affect my work. Except it does b/c I have to cover for them (literally when they go on those extra long lunches), or delay my work b/c they're not around to review it. Also I had nothing in common with the other people, and they couldn't understand any of my interests (they really had no ability to conceive of anything more imaginative than Jersey Shore). So it got to the point where I would get # marks whenever I saw them not-working...which was often. And, when I went to a conference that my old workmates were at also, I'd spent my entire time hanging out with them. But I knew they were fully staffed, and therefore there wasn't a chance for me to go back.

Since I'm basically unambitious unless I have to do something, I decided to make the best that I could of my situation. I tried to get involved with things that would get me in contact with people from other branches. And honestly, the work that I was doing was interesting. I'd seen animals at work, there were lunch hour learning sessions, and I dealt with science or enforcement people. Most of the clients really appreciated the effort and speedy turnaround that I put on their requests. And we'd just gotten a new system, so I was doing a fair bit of troubleshooting, and getting into a bit of a groove. Also since my current job had invested a fair bit in me, it felt a bit traitorous to just up and go.

So for almost 2 weeks, I'd been weighing everything and trying to find options. My director wasn't willing to let me go there temporarily, but might consider it if I was part-time at both places. However they wanted me full-time and didn't want to hire my friend for temporary help. So after a talk with an unbiased friend, who advised me that it's really the people who will make or break a job (which I suspected), I decided to go back. But for some strange reason, when I told my director, Compensation person, and supervisor, I got all weepy. I'm not really sure why (or why just recalling the incidents is getting me choked up), but I just did. But I did get a lot of advice from people during my wah-wah fits, such as while it's true that they invested in me, I'd also worked for them and produced really good results so it's even. And that change is always scary and difficult.

Anyways, the rest of the people don't know just yet, so I have to figure out how to announce it. I'm not good with being the center of attention, so I'm thinking that email would probably be best, although my director and supervisor has offered to announce it at our team meeting. Probably b/c they know I'm not good at these things, and it would be soooo embarrasing if I started bawling.

While I was still thinking about what to do, I'd had dreams of me working back there again, and it was a pleasant, happy dream. And like they say, it's usually in dreams where you resolve things. But I'm still uneasy. Yeah, it's just such a wierd feeling b/c I'm still having doubts and regrets. When I'd left my previous work places (there were 2 other times), I didn't have any regrets. Well, w/ Stupidstore it was that I wouldn't be able to play with the plush or see the new toys anymore. And actually w/ Conf*gys, it was that I wouldn't see some of my friends daily anymore. But it wasn't like I still wouldn't ever be able to play with plush or see new toys ever again. And I stay in touch w/ my friends thru FB. I think with this, it's b/c there really aren't any other depts that have animals in the workplace, or the proliferation of scientists, enforcement and relevancy to my interests (although working at the Space Agency would be cool). Being able to attend scientific presentations was fun, and kept my brain working. But at the old place, it's a lot more formal, hierarchial, and dressy. Won't be calling up a director and asking if he'd like me to bring up the letters for him to sign, or if he wants to come down to do it. It'll be all thru his admin assistant. *sigh* Yeah, I think I've finally figured out or codified what's really making me question this decision so much. Of course, the benefits would be that I'd have less commute, be able to shop on my breaks (instead of sitting in the lunchroom w/ a snack and watching TV, although I'll miss the cable), see my other friends (who also work downtown but in other depts), and it'll probably be a lot closer to where I live if I ever move out. However I think b/c there have been a lot of personnel changes over there, it might not be the same as when I initially worked there, so that's probably adding to my doubts. On top of that, when the person I'm going to be working directly under (and who's also my friend) makes mistakes on what's required for my deployment, it really makes me worry. I'm certain that a -university- degree (which I'd sent him) globally supercedes any high school diploma, but he still asked me to provide the HS degree. I might agree if the university degree was from another country, but it's from the same city we're living in. Like WTF?! I'm trying really really hard to chalk it up to him being overworked and stressed, but O-M-G. I'm scared.