Your Ideal Pet is a Cat |
 You're both aloof, introverted, and moody. And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed! |
Um, yes, I still don't really have a name for him. Well it's supposed to be Huntail, but he doesn't seem like a Huntail. Just sorta looks like one.... Well actually I guess not.
But the exciting new is....I'm teaching him to jump for his pellet. Yes, it's true. And he seems to enjoy it. Definitely swims to me more energetically when I pass by. I just hold it over him and go "jumpu, jump-pu" and then he'll wiggle his fins, stare at it really hard, and do a little leap out of the water. It's really only about 1-2 cm out but it's still cool. And you have to tell him to jump or he'll just look at you blankly and then at the pellet and back and forth.
T's fish died. Not sure from what, but as long as it wasn't constipation. I always comment about how much poo my fish has, how long the poo string is, and giggle hilariously when it's still hanging off him and hasn't broken off. D is really grossed out by the poo. Mind you, he also doesn't like whole fish b/c they're gross too w/ their attached heads. It's easy to gross him out when I'm gutting a fish. I call him a wuss that he doesn't want to know where his food comes from.
You Are 28% Obsessive |
 You tend to have a few obsessive thoughts, but you generally have them under control. Sometimes your worries keep you up at night, though they usually don't interfere with your life. |
Well, another day where my OM has to postpone the meeting w/ him so that we can go over my interview. It's been... about 3 weeks now? I'm just at the point where I really couldn't care. I'm just sick of the place. And I'm just doing my monitors and crap b/c I'm supposed to. Well I mean I'm supposed to all along, but it was previously so I'd get noticed and get promoted and crap. Well that sure as hell didn't happen. I carried my operations team for monitors and I get bumpkiss. I have some of the worst reps of any team in the centre(for the performance appraisal, I had more unsatisfactory contributors than anyone else), but I manage to drag above-average stats outta them. So what do I get after ...4 months of stress, breakdowns, and ungodly work hours? Well 2 of my fellow Lead Reps, the ones who weren't considered 1st choices for TLs, get permanent acting TL positions. I so far have not been talked to by either the supervisor who's in charge of our group, or any other OM. Hell, I haven't even got my performance appraisal. So I'm like whatever, I'll make sure my good reps get the good treatment and taken care of, I'll gleefully write the Employment Reviews for the crappy reps, and who gives a crap about retention b/c they sure as hell aren't doing anything for me.
Yeah, I was internally LMAO when our site director was talking about retaining agents and that the most important thing is the relationship btwn the supervisor and agent. And that people leave b/c of the breakdown of that relationship. Geez, and how would you categorize our relationship? I'll tell you what it is, it's just money and benefits, and a tenous one at that. Sure I get a nice feeling when my reps tell me I'm doing a good job, and a fair bit of them were pulling for me to make TL. And since I was a teacher's pet all the way up to...well university ( Didn't have a relationship w/ my profs b/c I was a drone until my 3rd and 4th yr when classes got smaller), I'm one of those people who like to get praised that they're doing a good job. And occassionally my OM will say I'm doing good, well at least good enough that he doesn't have to look over my shoulder constantly. But any dog's not going to bother running over when the bell rings, especially when there's a smidge of rewards, and they have to be fought over.
I suppose underlying all of this is the fact that I don't know if next week I'm going to be back on the phones or what. I heard that the 2 trainers that got hired are going to become TLs this Sunday. So where does that leave me? I really don't think we have enough people hitting the floor that they'd just create 2 new teams for them. They might, but it'd be somewhat unlikely. Really job insecurity is very frustrating to say the least. It's like am I back on the phones or am I still managing a team?!
Which probably won't be helped by the fact that I politely argued w/ my rep for 3 hrs. She wanted to do things her way, and I said nope b/c the client wants it the other way. Logic on her does not work. I'm not kidding. I pointed out that she didn't do something that she's supposed to do w/ every call so she goes to me, and I quote "How can you say that I don't do that on every call?!" Uh, b/c you -don't- do it on every call. You missed it twice out of the 3 calls I monitored. I think at that point it pretty much broke down to where I just wanted to see what other dumb thing she'd say. And then afterwards I notated the crap outta her journal. 1700+ words. And today she talked to my OM, and my OM comes to me afterwards and goes," I just spent an hour w/ her and to talk to you about what she told me would take another hour so I'm just going to postpone it until next day." He didn't leave anything in her journal but there's probably something in mine. And if some SLR didn't let our supervisor know that we knew where to find them, we'd still have access to it. Oh, and that other dumb SLR who was caught editing his own journal. What an idiot.
And it doesn't help that for the last....oh I dunno month or so, I've been having a lot of pains in my abdomen region. At times I think it's PMS cramps (but so far, no evidence of it), and then it moves so that I feel like I'm going to throw up, and sometimes it's flu-like b/c I ache at the joints and have problems w/ my body temperature. I've walked around hunched over at work b/c it hurt so much, and my eyes aren't ready to tear up just b/c I'm so pissed off, depressed, and frustrated.
And I suppose the underlying thing is that I feel quite trapped in the job. I really detest job interviews...well unless I know I'm eminently overqualified for it I guess. And I really mean overqualified. I was qualified for the stupid TL thing, but didn't feel overqualified so at times I was just blurting out whatever sounded right. So there was no element of confidance there. And it's kinda like, what else do I do outside my job? Well aside from my ps2, collection of manga, comic books, dvds, there's not much else. I'm not improving any skills, and even my housework has fallen to the wayside. Sadly enough I've taken a fair bit of pride in how long and glossy my hair is even though I don't do much w/ it. And I shed like crazy. I really think I should be bald by now. Which I guess is another thing I can take pride in my hair. I may be able to form big hair balls w/ the hair I find every morning, but there's still plenty on my head!
Yeah, so to "cope" w/ this crappiness that is my life, I've taken to...having lots of sushi. I'm talking every day off, I'm heading to pick up 20+ pieces of sushi. It's getting kinda scary actually. Last day, I went there too late, and they were out, so I picked up a crab instead. The crab wasn't as good as what I've had in restaurants, but it's still crab. And cooked in the green onions and ginger style. Sooooo good just licking the sauce up.
*sigh* and there's a guy. Which I think I like. Well like -like-. But I turned him down earlier. We still flirt like mad, but it's more like practice for other potential mates. Which is all well and good, but still. I dunno. Still undecided. B/c if we go out and I turn him down again after a couple dates, it's gonna totally suck for him. And I actually care enough about his feelings to not want to hurt him. *sigh sigh* Yes double sigh.
Well I'm going to call my hubby T tomorrow and hopefully 1st wife isn't playing hooky so that we can go out. Actually after D and I live together for over a year, then we'd be common-law. Which would mean D would finally get his dream of being in a polygamous relationship, and I'd have 2 hubbies. And his 1st wife would be my best bud who is also best bud's w/ my 1st husb, and none of us will have ever actually met his 1st wife.
You Belong in London |
 A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well. |
Yep, watched the midnight showing of X-Men 3, and while it may say Last Stand, there's definitely room for a sequel. However they'll probably need a few new characters, and definitely moving off the comic book history. FX were awesome and Kelsey Grammar was awesome as Beast. D made a lotta fun of me every time I squealed when he appeared, said "Oh my Stars and Garters" and fought. And yes people died. Storm actually got to do something. And deliver decent lines! Gotta watch it again, probably w/ JR who's seeing it...today, and then w/ some more friends. There was a section of Convergys employees there, and it was great fun. Stan Lee was in it of course. Awesome to see Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen acting together and opposite of each other. Logan was main focus of the movie again. Not that Hugh Jackman wasn't good, but again?! Geeez, shoulda been about the conflict w/in Beast. I think they really shortshrifted him, and no it's really not the fangirl talking.
But I really needed the movie. Another sh!tty day, thanks to my OM doing a 180 on what he told me earlier which made me look like an @ss to my agent. I was so furious after I told him what happened to my coaching session that I went back to my desk, bit my knuckles, cried a bit, grabbed my eyedrops and went to the washroom and was kinda okay. And then went back to desk, aimed a bunch of it to JR, and then my OM came to talk to me, and that's where I went "I'm so frustrated b/c of what you did," and started bawling again. And he has the nerve to tell me that I should be so morally upset that I had to tell a "white lie" to my rep b/c he wanted to be the one to talk to her about a crappy call, but b/c he mentioned it and was unable to play it to the rep, the rep asked me about it. And then he tries to explain his 180 to me, and it's like "so b/c you didn't think this thru, you tell me to say something to my rep which you contradict". I was soooo pissed. Anyways, he goes to me "take off at 10:00" which is really only 30 min before my scheduled end time anyways. Yeah, whoop dee doo. And he asked me how I thought I did on my interview out of 10, so I go 5. And then he asks me how much effort do I think I put into this job, and I go 10. And he's like well actually I'd say 9 b/c 10 is pretty high. So I go to him "have you checked my door swipes?" and he says "No, should I?" in that way of 'have you been taking off in the middle of the day and that's why you're always here so freaking late?'. So I tell him, "well if you did, then you'd have to give me a week off. Paid." He was a bit quiet after that. And the kicker is, the centre is behind on monitors for the month, however I've already hit my target and gone over by 10 (which incidentally was what he was threatening in the TL meeting to increase the target to just so that we'll meet the centre target). So not only have I met my target, but I have also met the proposed future target. AND I DON'T GET THE F*CKING JOB?!?!?! I've been doing the same crap as the other TLs w/ the exception making some payroll adjustments (which really take about 10 min), have stats that are in the upper middle of the centre, and I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! JR vented to me about this b*llshit earlier b/c all the SLRs got shafted, and seriously, they have to get their heads outta their @sses. The trainers got appreciation day, where the hell is ours?!
Anyways, I'll have to be more civil when I go for my appt w/ my OM where he goes over my interview. But if he's so worried about retention, maybe he should start retaining the people who deserve it.
Your Gemstone is Topaz |
 Comforting, considerate, and stable. You are down to earth and grounded. |
Well found out who got the TL positions. And it was none of the SLRs. At least not from the looks of it. Actually probably not at all. It went to the 2 trainers that applied and a RH. So out of the 5 positions offered, 3 are filled, and possibly the other 2 are filled by external hires. That is just a knee btwn the legs, kicking sand in the face while since you're on the ground, and then taking a dump on you. Yup, it's going to be pretty nasty back where a lot of us sit. And a lot of us were talking about looking for another job if we didn't get a good reason for not getting it, or namely if people got it that we don't think deserved it. Nothing against the RH, but WTF?!
At least there were a fair bit of people on my team that thought that I should get the job b/c they thought I was a really good TL. And you know what, I may not be the best at interviews, and I don't play office politics well b/c all I see is a lotta bullsh!t, but stats-wise and the fact that I've consistently been near the top of the production team in monitors and quality should mean a lot more than how smooth I am. Pffffttt, whatever. Of course, I'm sure they'll monitor how well I take the rejection and if I just slack off or just keep working steady as usual. Although I really think we should all take off for a couple hours at the same time and see how they like it for dissing us like this. Bloody wankers!
Heh, I was just thinking that I should fill out one of those sheets for leave of absences that I usually end up doing for schedule accomodation for the reps. Hmmm, Quality, well let's see I haven't been on the phones for about 3 months, but considering my target for monitors is 100 and I always go over that by about 10 whereas other TLs struggle just to get 90. Oh, and attendance, well if you consider all the unpaid OT I've done, I think I have 120% attendance. So yeah, FU I want a break from this crap. And to look for something better.
And in a way I'm angry, but I'm also sorta resigned to the fact that I will inevitably get screwed b/c I don't play their game. So I think it's time to get back to school, or at least do something I want to do instead of slave away at this dead-end place. It pays the bills, but doesn't anything else for me.
Had the TL interview and it was as horrible as I thought. However I wasn't the first one to do it. However I was forced to work 11 hrs. They told me the interview was on my "personal time". F*cking wankers. I'm so tired. Going to sleep now.
Well, yesterday of the 3 people I asked, I was the only one that got the interview letter. The others didn't letters which either means that they're doing the interviews in 2+ waves or they're printing the PFO letters later. And they have a new format for the interview, it's about 3 hours w/ 3 parts, done by all the OMs + site director and Quality head. Basically it's modelled after the TL Review/Assessment that the current TLs had to go thru. And since I have mine tomorrow in the morning...I must be the guinea pig. (only gave me really 1 day to prepare b/c I can't really prepare at work when I'm working now, can I?) I'm so looking forward to it, not! Actually I'm getting nauseous just writing about it. I'm not good w/ interviews in the first place and having no real clue on what kind of torture they may put me thru. Or right, shouldn't think of it as torture, just merely a way to get to know me better session. But what if I don't want them to know me?!?!
And of course if I turn it down, then all the other people who got PFO letter would be upset at me. Which is up to them of course, I can't control their feelings, and all that like JR told me, but still. I showed the letter to those who didn't get one, and one of them upon seeing the format, went "Gawd, I'm glad I didn't get it then. Holy cr@p!" Anyways, as for preparation... considering just thinking about it makes me wanna puke... I think I'll wing it for answers, but have a format on how to answer. That may be the best and only way to do it b/c otherwise I'll have written out scenario after scenario, and might as well have a book. Unlike D, I don't rehearse potential conversations.
Read Ranma Vol 34 last night, and it was Ranma's mother finding out. And it did give me strength b/c Ranma worried and worried, and his mom just accepted it. Of course she was so happy to see him that she didn't care, but it's sorta the "not all things are going to be worst case scenario". Although I think I will ask if I get a washroom break btwn the interview parts. So my worst case scenario? I think aside from throwing up, stuttering, talking so fast I don't even know what I'm saying, sweating so much I'm drenched, drawing complete blanks and having to make something b/c even though they say "take your time" we all know they're not going to sit there for 5 min while you try to think of something.
Uhhhnnn, not feeling well. And I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tks in when I get there b/c the interview starts at 11:30 and my shift starts at 2:00-10:30 and I really don't want to be there for 11 hrs. *hurk* This royally sucks. Maybe if I slip in the tub, I don't have to do it and they'll just give it to me.
It was on Monday that I'd requested immediate vacation days from my OM and when he asked why, I got all upset crying and said I was super-stressed out. Why? Trying to do too much at the same time? Spending 9+ hr days at work? Trying to be friendly and happy to my agents when I want to strangle half of them and shake sense into the rest? Who knows. But it was so embarrasing, and the problem is that once I start, I can't stop, especially if I think about it again. So I actually ended up crying about 3 more times afterwards. Once in the bathroom, and then twice again when I was in the private room w/ JR. The only way I could compose myself was to think/talk about anything else. So I thought up names for my future cows in Harvest Moon. Wiped my eyes so many times that my eyelids were raw, and I had to splash water on my eyes the next morning when I was washing my face instead of using my face cloth. And then my tea tree oil moisturizer burnt, so I had to pull out the night cream. It was very rough. I'm okay now, although on Wednesday, when someone said that I didn't look well and I should go home, I got all upset again. It's just *shudder* bad. Like I've said before, never was this wasted when I was on the phones. Although when I was SLR...maybe I should get outta this place. But it's sorta, will any other place be different?
So after the week from heck, I have the weekend off. Spent it getting a VM really late so I missed going to the graveyard for Mother's day. Did an AIDS mouth swab test for life insurance. Crossed the river valley on my own, and spent about 4 hours on Whyte Ave, going up and down to the different optomertrists shops looking for sunglasses. Found a pair of Raybans that came closest to fitting and looking decent but it was $124. Gawd, so sucks having a huge wide head. Didn't buy them though. I'll just keep looking. Got my yaoi. Little Butterfly struck a chord. And forgot to get backing boards. Ate sushi, and was having a very pleasant time too, slowly drinking my tea, savouring each piece... until a quartet of ignorant airheads came in and sat next to me. Then the migraine came back. Read a manga in Chapters. Walked in the park and nearly walked off the path into the bushes b/c I was busy staring at the sky thru the branches of the trees. That was amazing fun to just walk down the path like that, and looking at the clouds and trees. Very peaceful and relaxing. Cooked. Spent about 2 hrs belting out tune on Karaoke Revolution. I think I'm getting better. Played Harvest Moon. Played Star Ocean. Slept.
Pointed out that D's alarm is waking me up even though he goes back to sleep afterwards. Emptied out my drawers and Rubbermaid and sorted comics. Badly regretted forgetting to pick up backing boards. I have over 2 yrs worth of Hellblazer I need to bag. Kowai! I seem to be missing several books also, including my X-Statix vs Avengers TPB. I think I lent it, and several others to J. We used to share books, and he kept several titles and I had a bunch, so I dunno who's keeping She-Hulk b/c I have some of the latter issues. I'm starting to run out of room in my boxes. They used to be sorted btwn families, but now they're all jumbled together. Black Panther is not a limited series. I'm quite enjoying the KOF 2003 that Dr. Master is putting out. Ash was sorta a meh char when I played him on PS2, didn't have great moves, but he's a hoot in the comic. However the SNK vs. Capcom is totally p!ssing me off. Iori's getting his ass handed to him, even Orochi Iori gets captured and killed in one shot. WTF?! And I sooooo hate Bison. Stupid pillow thighs.
*sigh* I don't want to go to work tomorrow. They still haven't handed out the PFO/interview letters. And I still don't know if I wanna even bother trying for TL. I wrote a pretty intense email to my former TL, who's currently a pariah at the centre b/c of office politics, and b/c he and his wife just had a baby, he hasn't replied yet. I dunno what to do. I think my head's still mussed up. And it doesn't help that one of my reps had a call that was recorded and the customer gave her cr@ppy mark. But listening to the call, the customer was a total b!tch. She messed herself up and then accuses us of screwing her. She didn't have a single clue of what she was saying, just complained about the bill. My agent tried to help her, but knew that the customer was an idiot, and you know how it's just too tempting to talk at people who are morons and talking outta their asses? Well that's kinda what happened. So my OM asked me to listen to the call and rate it, and so I said that yeah, the agent was argumentative but did try to help the customer but the customer wouldn't listen, so there's not much more the agent coulda done. Two egos clashing. OM didn't think the same way, and started quizzing me on the elements of call quality. Well I don't believe in double-deducting for things, but he was saying the issue couldn't be resolved b/c the agent's fault, whereas my stance is that the agent attempted multiple times. Anyways, he ends up telling me that I can't tell her that he and the site director are going to pull the agent aside and talk to her about the call, and I have to back them on their decision. Such bogus. I really hate office politics. I wonder if that's half my stress. Oh screw half the stress, probably almost all my stress. You can't just do your job, gotta watch out for everyone's egos, and then when you try, then they say you're being a fool. Bleeaaaahhhhkkkkk!
Gotta get work outta mind so I can get to sleep. Hurm, I was strangely quite hungry this evening. Had big bowl of taro noodles w/ squid, carrots, celery, chives and it was tres tasty. But I was still hungry! So I cooked up a chicken thigh and it sorta filled me. And then about 3 hrs later b/c D was cooking pizza, I had 1/4 of a 12" pie. Like what the heck??! Anyways.... From Far Away is an excellent manga. Orphen isn't bad. I'm hesitant to read Yami no Matsuei b/c I think Vol 11 is the last one. Sorta the if you don't say it, it ain't true syndrome. Reading H's Harry Potter. Oh, I'd cleaned the bathtub on Tuesday(had nasty bathtub ring and was seriously backing up) (b/c Monday was my really really bad day, and Tuesday was my day off) and since I went home early on Wednesday, I sat in the bath for about 1 1/2 hrs soaking and reading Potter. Although I wasn't feeling too well still b/c I was getting seasick. Shush, it's true, the waves kinda made me sick. Read a good chunk of it while I had Anime Hardcore Radio playing. Nice having the bathroom connect to your room, though I wish I had a fan in the bathroom sometimes....it's for when I use the Liquid Plumber!
Your Ideal Relationship is Friends Only |
 Honestly, you're not really ready for a relationship right now. And you prefer to keep things platonic, for now. That's not to say that one of your friends could be dating material. You're just taking a break for now. |
*groan* They opened up 5 postings for TL and I applied, ever so dutifully. Do I really want it? Errr, sorta maybe, but I don't wanna work in a call centre forever. There's that stigma associated w/ it for one thing. And although I'm getting better at not bringing my crap home (by reading loads of manga/comics, playing on PS2, and thinking of their plots when I'm trying to get to sleep instead of what sh@t I have to do the next day), I still end up staying at work for more than my shift to do crap. Want the money, but don't want the responsibility I guess. Or should I say don't want to feel like I've cleaned out the Valkyries' stables only to be told to clean out Zeus' stables and afterwards clean up after Dionysius' orgies. It's caused me unbelievable amts of stress that I've broken down in front of my MO, and probably should've gone home but I had crap to do, so I just took a half hour break and went back to work.
Finished writing an email to one of my TLs that's away on leave, and basically just recalling all the stuff I have to go thru at work, sent me into tears. Even commenting on it now... has me weeping. It's just...I'm so f*cking stressed. I don't know if it's the time of the month, b/c H also had hers recently, and w/ my non-regular non-cycle it could really happen almost any time after 30 days. Ugh, was looking in my blog/memory device and it's been just over a month that I wrote I'd bawled in front of my MO. And here I go again. I'm not quite at the point where I'm leaving dents in my knuckles from jamming it in my mouth to keep from screaming and crying (yes, I did that at work and the pain helped) but I'm getting close. All's I know is that I never had to do this when I was on the phones.
*heavy breath* Anyways, just wanted to make a note to help me w/ my memory. This is what my life is like right now, and I don't know how to make it better. I know it's not the sh@ts and all that bollocks about others being worse off, and I should focus on all the good stuff that I've got for me....but it's just this tiny gap in a smothering fog of despair. (I won't say light and dark b/c it's so cliche and really why is dark so bad? I know the fairy tale about fire and dangerous night for the Cro-Magnon) Going to bed. They're going to announce who gets the PFO letter and who has to get their clothes to the drycleaners...today.
Again, I forgot my nephew's name. I just remember that I didn't like it particularly b/c it was common, and not at all interesting. And since all the neices' names ended in -a I thought his did as well. (but of course that's a way of feminizing masculine names, but you never know. There might be an European male name that ends in -a) But it doesn't. And it's Justin. I dunno why Justin. I forgot to ask my brother. What would I name my son (if I ever have one)? Hmmmm, well if I tried not to be Japanese... probably Logan. That's a nice name. And yes, that'd be b/c it's Wolvie's name. But it's a nice strong name, and not verily common. Or Henry after my fav bouncing blue Beast. Uh yeah, I'd be naming my kids after fictional characters, which is a long tradition.
Your Seduction Style: Au Natural |
 You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. |
Your Life Path Number is 11 |
 Your purpose in life is to inspire others Your amazing energy draws people to you, and you give them great insight in return. You hold a great amount of power over others, without even trying. You have the makings of an inventor, artist, religious leader, or prophet. In love, you are sensitive and passionate. You connect with your partner on a very deep level. You have great abilities, but you are often way too critical of yourself. You don't fit in - and instead of celebrating your differences, you dwell on them. You have high expectations of yourself. But sometimes you set them too high and don't achieve anything. |
just a really good line.
I was re-reading my blog post, and this huge thump came from my neighbours. So I say (yes I talk to myself. Well actually not to myself, I'm really talking to my lovelies in my room. Yeah, and I understand they have tags on them. And are filled w/ polyester or other stuffing material. What's your point?), "If you're going to have a fight, you should take it out the window." We're on the 17th floor. Tee hee. That was my good line. If you missed it. Bastards.... Sometimes I feel like Salty Taro.
Get home, it's been a real sh!t-@ss week where I broke down in front of my OM and started bawling b/c I was so stressed out, and what do I get to find in my email? A little note from my "friend" J who's been working 80 hrs weeks saying that
"Its finally
> starting to sink in
> that now [he's] just a causal friend/assocciate"
And why pray tell, would he think that? I'm working 50 hrs weeks and completely different schedules that it's nigh-impossible to coordinate, but I still call him to see if he's avail to go to do our usual comic shopping trip. But lo 'n' behold he's too busy, so I cannot live w/o my fix, instead go by myself. And spend $100s of dollars (yes, those are the major purchases on my credit card). And last week he actually had time to go, but since I already went to our usual hangout on Wednesday, I insisted that we go to another store so that I could find anything I might be missing. And I found a KOF wallscroll. Too bad it had a rip in it (typical from that store) but still cute. And it was his mom's b-day that day too, and I've been invited to family celebrations for oh... last 3-4 years? But did he invite me? Hell no. Instead of having turkey dinner, I had to settle for store-bought sushi. Which was okay (I don't think they make much nigiri anymore b/c it's more perishable), but his parents' cooking is lovely. Do I say to him, WTF? Nope, and then what do I find in my email a few days later? That f^cking email. Well f-u!
All day I have to babysit a bunch of people who either have zero self-esteem or are trying to pull a fast one on me. I was told by my OM to be more friendly w/ my staff and say hi to them more often. This to a person who routinely walks past her friends, and is constantly teased that I'm ignoring them. To me, the 3 minutes I have to spend on each of them (3*15) is time that I could spend on doing paperwork that their laziness, ineptitude and/or cheating causes. So guess what? I don't feel like coming home, and getting this bloody note from another whiner. Who has self-esteem issues. I do enough false platitudes and positive reinforcement at work, I don't need to do it at home. If he thinks I'm that shallow, well he can live in his little world of self-wallowing despair. I don't need that sh!t. Just really p!sses me off.
*pant pant*
I'm not sure if I'm finished my rant. But yeah I'm pissed. *breathe* Okay, I looked to see if there were further emails from him, and there were. I'd left him a VM inviting him to the wrestlemania shindig that I'm throwing at my apt. And he's accepted. Which means he can meet my work friends, one of whom is actively chasing me, has given me backrubs, taken me to movies, gotten me drunk but remained gentlemanly, who I shuffled to after my bawling at work, who gave me a small floral arrangment (live orchids...well as live as they can be when they're stuck in florist sponge) b/c I was so stressed. And the other who gave me a teddy bear for my b-day. (I'd asked for cute and fuzzy and I was referring to YuGiOh cards) ROFL. This is going to be so f^cking hilarious. Too bad D will be at work and can't watch the fireworks. D loves that kind of stuff. Maybe he should call sick.
Well I guess we can go back to analyzing that first email. Let's see, when we figured out that we would hang out on Sunday, that was b/c he'd called me on my cell, and at that time I was eating KFC w/ 3 other guys (D, TT, W) just before we were going karaoke. So of course he can hear the guys, and he goes "what are you doing?" Reflex response to him is to deny everything. B/c he has 0 self-esteem. But it was sorta "uh not much, just going out w/ some friends." And when we met up the next day, he didn't even ask about my night b/c he "guess [he] felt little akward." Which btw was pretty darn fun once I loosened up and my voice loosened up so I could get close to my normal range. Otherwise I sing sharp and high. (wait, did I write about this before? Oh sh!t, I did. *re-reading* Oooo, I guess I am pretty shallow. Wow, nothing like being high-n-mighty and eating crow in the same post) Where did eating crow come from anyways?!
You know what, I'm just going to delete that reply to his email. Bad idea. Yup. I'll just reply to his other email where he accepted the invitation and was much more pleasant.
*sigh* so a weekend that I didn't hang out w/ JR. Yes it's true, after about 4 or so weeks running, we didn't hang out together. We were going to though. Another stressful week for me, full of staying at work late, dragged out only by wrestling and friends waiting for me. So JR was going to help me de-stress, like he has the past few weeks by taking me out to a movie or drinking. I swear this position is going to make me an alcoholic. Came home one night, and I told D, with all seriousness "I feel like having a beer." And I hate beer. Really hate it. Tastes like crap. But my mind was still filled w/ work-sh!t just spinning around, driving me crazy b/c it's going to be something I'll have to deal w/ next day which will inevitably be added onto by more cr@p that the team will come up w/.
Oh and hoh hoh hoh, there was a TL position that they posted. But only for 1. And a bunch of people put in applications. But I was talking w/ my TL, and he said that all the TLs in the Nesting teams (sorta the halfway house to being on the floor) want out b/c they hate it. You have to coddle the agents, monitor twice as much as regular TLs, constantly have team meetings, and it's insanely difficult for paperwork. So any TL position that opens up will inevitably be for the Nesting position. And seriously, if they say they're going to put me there, I'd rather be on the phones. Get paid about $13 for it anyways. Speaking of my TL, he got in trouble b/c he took an escalation from a RH that another TL was listening to so she could monitor the RH. But instead of taking off the headset when he came on, she continued to listen and didn't like how he handled it. And instead of talking to him about it, she sent an email to her OM and his OM. So he gets put on a disciplinary action that's 1 step away from employment review. Is it any wonder that so many TLs and people have quit?
Anyways, trying to get away from work here, good ol' JR. So on Sat, we were discussing what to do, and I AIMed him that I wanted to get the Karaoke Revolution game, and play it b/c singing makes me feel better. Then I got a call from TT who wanted to know if I wanted to karaoke. So I went karaoke last night, was pretty fun. I think I sing better w/ a partner. And I don't care who. When it's just me, I feel really self-conscious and my voice tightens up. I'm one of those ones who want to sound good, so I stick to the lyrics and don't improv stuff during the instrumental parts. I love singing "Time after Time" by Cyndi Lauper. I tried out "Waterfalls" by TLC but I only really remember the chorus. And then there was a like a rapping part (I guess it was supposed to be rap cause I don't remember it from the song) and it was pretty fast, so I just started saying whatever appeared on the screen as fast as I could read it. But I didn't really read, I just said it, and a couple times I was too fast. Guess it helps to be able to read romanization. D picked "Phantom of the Opera" to sing w/ me, and when I sang the first part, I was too high so I was getting really offkey, so I dropped it an octave in the second part. Yeah, I'm more a mezzo-soprano.
Anyways, when I was out w/ the guys, J called me, and the first thing he asked after how I was, was of course what I was doing. So it's like "not much...going out w/ my friends." Anyways we met today (or I suppose yesterday) and he didn't ask what I did. But it turned out to be his mum's b-day and he was going to have dinner w/ them. And in the past, I was always welcome, and he didn't say if I was invited or not, and I didn't ask, but I did't have turkey dinner. Well whatever really. We didn't do much except go shopping. Course he didn't say if he any plans either. We just talked about our crappy jobs, how many comics we were missing, that kinda stuff. And ya know, it's all fine for me. There's the small twinge of "oh I'm not getting free food anymore" but other than that, I don't miss him that much.
Later JR gave me a call to see if I wanted a drive home from work since he was in the neighbourhood (yeah it's a 10 min walk, but he does that anyways) but I woulda been off work by the time he called anyways. And if I was supposed to work today/yesterday, oh well. And he said he missed me even though we'll see each other tomorrow/today, and we'd seen each other on Friday. And while the sentiment is appreciated, it's really not returned. I suppose it could be b/c I've lost my mom when I was younger, so I'm not sensitive to missing people. But while I do like JR, and when I think about it, he's not a bad dude, nice voice, kinda cute, major flirt, wicked sense of humour, and I could see holding hands w/ him. But emotionally, it's like "eh" makes no difference to me. Maybe b/c I don't have that emotional void to fill or something. I dunno. I bawl like a baby whenever I see the characters losing their family (mothers are the worst for me) and I cried for hours w/ Eddie's death. But there are few people I could say that I miss when I don't see/talk to them. Sorta that outta sight, outta mind thing.
