My so-called vacation starts

So I'm on my vacation. Finally. Gawd, I was so burnt out. And I think I still am. I was having a lotta abdomen pains lately, and today it was still the same thing. The sudden need to visit the bathroom. Was very annoying. And still is. However I did put out all my figures. So nice to look above my desk and see all my cuties standing there. Showed D, and he said that the poses that H puts her figures in are a lot more blatant and very sexual. I have one where Meryl has her derringer pulled on Wolfwood b/c Wolfwood has his hand out trying to get money from her by putting the portable confession on her. She's just finished tossing the mini-church to the floor. The most "sexual" thing I have is that all the KOF girls are surrounding Iori and looking at him admirably. I'm not sure if Dark Beast playing "guess who?" on Beast really counts. Anyways, I need to get a doll stand for my 12" Iori figure so he can stand instead of sitting all the time.

Got a call from JR and he goes to me that he can't understand how I couldn't get out of work before 11. He said the only reason why he was there until 11 was b/c he goofed off and had to write up a sudden CAP. That totally pissed me off. Even if he was teasing me, it implies that 1) I spent most of my time goofing off 2)I worked but was so inefficient that I spun my wheels 3)I just stayed long to appear that I was working my @ss off. I'm so freaking tempted to just ignore all his calls for a while. Tomorrow is his day off and he'll be golfing at the company golf tournament, so he'll probably call. He did something similar when we were at work, and since we AIM each other, he said that I had a 50 min break b/c AIM was idle for that long. And it's like, well if I'm on the other server, it's going to show that, and he's like "nope, you were slacking." And considering I've put in so much extra OT, that even if I took an extra 20 min, I would've earned it, I was right poed. So when I got to my desk I AIMed him that I was going to ignore him and it took about an hour before he broke down and apologized. Yeah, I'm still pretty pissed about his VM. Almost tempted to write a nasty txt msg.

So what if I'm not very mature. JR was trying to convince me to go to the golf tournament, and I don't play. So I go to him, "what am I going to do? Put stinkbombs in all of their golfbags?" And he goes, "No, you're supposed to schmooze." I reply "Naw, I'm going to run around putting stinkbombs in their golfbags." The whole concept of schmoozing disgusts me. This of course is in no small part influenced by the fact that I didn't get the TL position. Basically just when I got the team cleaned up and my work hours down, I lose my position. So I hand over a team that has been coached about everything and is finally doing really well to someone who beat me for the position. Now why would I be bitter? Most of my reps were pretty good too and tried to cheer me up, and say that they didn't want someone else to be their TL. One of them even said that they should ask him why I should remain his TL b/c I helped him improve his stats and we know each other fairly well now. A lot of them asked me to check up on them once I get back from my vacation. It does warm the cockles of my heart.

Ow, I'm hurting again down there. At times it feels like the gallbladder, and then it's about where my appendix is. Right now it's appendix. And it's so annoying, I'll get super tired, and ready to drop, and then I'll get a 2nd wind to stay awake. But I'm sleepy now, and my keyboard is screwing up. Spacebar is wacked ever since I cleaned it.

J's in a mess b/c of M. M messes up his life, and J tries to help him w/ it, when he's got probs of his own to deal w/. And since J's outta town, can't even go see him. I wouldn't trust M w/ any money, and J lent him $1000 to help him move and pay for stuff. And of course M got kicked out again, and J's wondering if he should move outta his parent's and share a space w/ M. If it was me, I'd tell him it'd only happen if I had control over his finances, and he had to keep a job for longer than a couple months. D may be easily distracted, and blows his money more than he saves, but at least he realizes that he needs to keep his job and save enough for bills.

Quiz: What Mythological Creature are you?

You scored as Demon. Demon: Darkness is your sanctuary. Demons are many and are all different in appearence and rank. The most common are the ones that feed off of human souls. They love to make someone fall into their inner darkness. Blood, wrath, murder... You name it they love it. These beings don't care who you are, if they set their sights on you, let's just hope you know a good excorist. They kill any love within you and pull you toward their side. By any means possible. You wish for chaos and hate, you are the Demon. Demon 84% Faerie 67% Mermaid 58% WereWolf 50% Dragon 50% Angel 50% What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!) created with QuizFarm.com

Fu fu fu fu! It's so much fun watching the transistion btwn life and death, and trying to pinpoint that exact moment. But so hard to find test subjects. Heh heh. *Kodachi-laugh*

But I'm still partially a bit of a faery....who are loving, playful, and have a childlike enthusiasm for life. Okay, that's a bit different. Hmm, I guess I like having life around so I can bring them back and take it away. Again and again.

WWE Vengeance

Well Sunday sure didn't turn out like I expected. Was hoping that Warp was open till 5, but nope, and I got there 15 min late. Well actually we b/c D decided to come along. Argh, if I had my Discman going and didn't have to slow down, I might've been able to make it. So no comics. Oh well, I think I have Wednesday off, so maybe I'll pick them up then. But just comics, b/c manga's going to have to wait until Animethon. Except for my yaoi.

Anyways, as we wandered down the street, D wanted to see "See no Evil" but it's already in the dollar theatre. And so we went to see Vengeance instead. Didn't expect the Angle vs. Orton match to start the show b/c we were late b/c we needed to pick up food at T&T first. Saw the end, so can't give opinion on it. The Eugene vs. Umaga shoulda been first. Can't make comment on it either b/c I went to the washroom. Didn't think I was in there that long but it was already over. Foley vs. Flair was bad as Foley promised. Intercontinental was absolutely awesome. Carlito was funny and showed a lotta moves he hadn't used before which was cool. Didn't think he was that aerial. The 3-man suplex/powerbomb was the best. Crowd was chanting "Holy shit" afterwards. The Kane vs Kane got the "boring" chant instead. And it was pretty bleh. I think if the real Kane acted upset that fake Kane was copying all his moves, it woulda helped sell the story. I was actually starting to close my eyes btwn matches and nod off during the matches. Even during the Sabu vs. Cena. Sabu was super suicidal and took some nasty bumps. But that's major talent. Cena is so lame, Sabu had to carry him. DX was wickedly funny. Very nice. And we know that HHH doesn't wear a cup.

Don't know why video stores don't carry wrestling dvds. Was trying to find ECW One Night stand. Found stupid UFC instead though. Ended up watching the Family Guy Stewie DVD. Was pretty funny, commentary was quite good. I always wondered which char Seth McFarland actually talks like. For some reason I thought he might be Peter. And JR kept complimenting me all thru the night, btwn the tickle session, massage, and competition to see who could name off more finisher wrestling moves. I mean, what I am I supposed to say other than "thank you"? Well actually I just kept adding "and evil" to the end of all of them. B/c I'm 62% evil.

T&T had some sushi left at store-close which is sooo wierd. Can't believe I spent $20 on sushi. But it was sooo hard to resist. And it'd be going in garbage if no one bought it so....it called to me. But I can't finish it all tonight.

To Slack or not to Slack

So it's going to be my last week as TL coming up. And boy, do I feel like doing a whole lotta nothing. Except for letting my reps get away w/ everything. Nawww, actually I really don't feel like that. Lates, attendance, all that visible stuff I think I'll still chase after them for. Or at least notate that I talked to them about it. Though having them offline for 30 min for a pizza party is cool w/ me. Anyways, not that I could slack all that much. Total f*ckhead who's doing the scheduling is screwing w/ everyone's schedule. He has people working only 32 hrs a week, working multiple weekends in a row. It's so f*ckin' screwed up. I have to do correction entries constantly. At least I'm totally on target for monitors. Yeah, as usual I'm carrying the production team again. And again, all I can say is why is the person who meets monitor targets, has above average quality, almost always meets all deliverables is the one who doesn't get the job? Oh, right, probably b/c they want me to clean everything up. F*ckers. Why should it matter that I'm not slick when I'm interviewing?! Not everyone can be the Rock.

Anyways, I think it's time to start looking at other things. I'm thinking more education-wise. It just feels sad when all I can talk about is work or ps2. Gonna really try to put aside time and get D to teach me how to play bass guitar. And I won't deny that Iori Yagami sparked my interest. *drool* Iori-sama....

Anyways, gonna spend my weekend cleaning. Hopefully. Tends to not happen unfortunately. But I really need to do it so when my cousin comes over, she'll go "Ohmigod" b/c I have so many figures and books, and not b/c her feet got tangled up in my hairball. Yeah, still have to unpack my figures. So sad. Dusting's a major chore. The ventilation causes a lotta dust, and there's still a lotta dust flying around even when you're about 50m above street level. But those Swiffer things are so wasteful.

My best bud H is coming back in August. The wankers that hired her for teaching English decided not to renew her contract. Which sucks b/c it was a good source of income, but she was totally miserable over there. Amazing how a city of 10 million utterly has no interesting culture. She blew thru all the monuments in the first month! Gonna have to talk to landlord about moving to a larger apt. Checked our lease, unfortunately it doesn't expire when she comes back, but if we can move into a larger apt in the building, it'll be sweet. Btwn the 3 of us, shouldn't be too bad for the higher rent.

I hope I can hang out w/ T before he goes to CA. Just to hang out b/c we don't really get to do that at work. Both of us have too good of a work ethic to slack off and just chat. And I owe JR a movie and dinner, so maybe I can take care of those tomor... today also.

Quiz: Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0

You scored as Beast. Beast is an intelligent, politcal spokesman for the X-Men. He has a Ph.D in Genetics and is well versed in literature. He may look like a blue fuzzy monster, but deep down he's very benevolent and logical. Powers: Enhanced strength and agility Beast 85% Rogue 75% Storm 75% Cyclops 70% Wolverine 70% Jean Grey 65% Emma Frost 65% Colossus 55% Nightcrawler 50% Iceman 40% Gambit 40% Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Wooooohoooooo! I'm most like Hank! And noooo, I didn't do the test a zillion times to get him. Kinda surprised I'm a lot like Rogue too, but then maybe we're talking about the cool Claremont-Rogue, not the sobby whiney Lobdell Rogue. Although lately I've been the Lobdell Rogue, so I should mock too much. La la laa, Hank and I are alike. Loo de doo, and that's just so right. Heh heh. Thought woulda scored higher w/ Wolvie though. Odd that I'd score as high w/ Wolvie and Cyke. Not surprised that I'd score low w/ Gambit. I think the only thing that gave me high for him was the food question.

Quiz: How Evil Are You?

You Are 62% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

Fu fu fu fu fu! Exxxxcellent. Have enough good to make the evil unexpected.

And spent the day talking for an hour to T, which almost made me late for the bank. Made it by 2 min. I went to bed late, well actually at the time that T woke up so he went out shopping while I was still snoozing. Ah well. Did get sushi. But no soy milk. >:( They must've run out. Was not in the mood to shop. Not at all. Was in a totally depressed mood So I spent 2 hrs vacuuming and cleaning my bathroom. And yes it made me feel better b/c I finally did something I'd been putting off and I have something to show for my efforts. Soap scum sucks. Vim is better than Fantastik. And now it's too late to take a bath. I prefer to bathe only when I know the bathtub is clean. Which means I mostly shower. B/c otherwise I'd be sitting in soap scum. And that would defeat the purpose. Or not. I bathe the Japanese way...relaxation. So I actually shower first, rinse the bathtub and then fill it up w/ warm water and veg. But I don't think I could relax knowing I was sitting in my filth. Hmmm, or I could sit in warm water first, loosen up all the dirt, and then shower....Hurm. That's a thought.

Quiz: What's Your Ideal Pet?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody. And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

Ooooh, ouch! Too bad I'm allergic to cats. Not that I haven't wanted them or had plenty of chances to get one, especially since one of the supervisors wants to be related thru cat to everyone in the centre. Damn allergies. Both of us too.

Yeah fish!

Um, yes, I still don't really have a name for him. Well it's supposed to be Huntail, but he doesn't seem like a Huntail. Just sorta looks like one.... Well actually I guess not.

But the exciting new is....I'm teaching him to jump for his pellet. Yes, it's true. And he seems to enjoy it. Definitely swims to me more energetically when I pass by. I just hold it over him and go "jumpu, jump-pu" and then he'll wiggle his fins, stare at it really hard, and do a little leap out of the water. It's really only about 1-2 cm out but it's still cool. And you have to tell him to jump or he'll just look at you blankly and then at the pellet and back and forth.

T's fish died. Not sure from what, but as long as it wasn't constipation. I always comment about how much poo my fish has, how long the poo string is, and giggle hilariously when it's still hanging off him and hasn't broken off. D is really grossed out by the poo. Mind you, he also doesn't like whole fish b/c they're gross too w/ their attached heads. It's easy to gross him out when I'm gutting a fish. I call him a wuss that he doesn't want to know where his food comes from.

Quiz: How Obsessive Are You?

You Are 28% Obsessive

You tend to have a few obsessive thoughts, but you generally have them under control. Sometimes your worries keep you up at night, though they usually don't interfere with your life.

How Obsessive Are You?

Ha ha ha, that's so true. I don't know how many times I've been unable to go back to sleep b/c I have to think of all the sh!t I have take care of at work. So f*ckin' sucks.

Nothing spectacular happening...and that's the problem

Well, another day where my OM has to postpone the meeting w/ him so that we can go over my interview. It's been... about 3 weeks now? I'm just at the point where I really couldn't care. I'm just sick of the place. And I'm just doing my monitors and crap b/c I'm supposed to. Well I mean I'm supposed to all along, but it was previously so I'd get noticed and get promoted and crap. Well that sure as hell didn't happen. I carried my operations team for monitors and I get bumpkiss. I have some of the worst reps of any team in the centre(for the performance appraisal, I had more unsatisfactory contributors than anyone else), but I manage to drag above-average stats outta them. So what do I get after ...4 months of stress, breakdowns, and ungodly work hours? Well 2 of my fellow Lead Reps, the ones who weren't considered 1st choices for TLs, get permanent acting TL positions. I so far have not been talked to by either the supervisor who's in charge of our group, or any other OM. Hell, I haven't even got my performance appraisal. So I'm like whatever, I'll make sure my good reps get the good treatment and taken care of, I'll gleefully write the Employment Reviews for the crappy reps, and who gives a crap about retention b/c they sure as hell aren't doing anything for me.

Yeah, I was internally LMAO when our site director was talking about retaining agents and that the most important thing is the relationship btwn the supervisor and agent. And that people leave b/c of the breakdown of that relationship. Geez, and how would you categorize our relationship? I'll tell you what it is, it's just money and benefits, and a tenous one at that. Sure I get a nice feeling when my reps tell me I'm doing a good job, and a fair bit of them were pulling for me to make TL. And since I was a teacher's pet all the way up to...well university ( Didn't have a relationship w/ my profs b/c I was a drone until my 3rd and 4th yr when classes got smaller), I'm one of those people who like to get praised that they're doing a good job. And occassionally my OM will say I'm doing good, well at least good enough that he doesn't have to look over my shoulder constantly. But any dog's not going to bother running over when the bell rings, especially when there's a smidge of rewards, and they have to be fought over.

I suppose underlying all of this is the fact that I don't know if next week I'm going to be back on the phones or what. I heard that the 2 trainers that got hired are going to become TLs this Sunday. So where does that leave me? I really don't think we have enough people hitting the floor that they'd just create 2 new teams for them. They might, but it'd be somewhat unlikely. Really job insecurity is very frustrating to say the least. It's like am I back on the phones or am I still managing a team?!

Which probably won't be helped by the fact that I politely argued w/ my rep for 3 hrs. She wanted to do things her way, and I said nope b/c the client wants it the other way. Logic on her does not work. I'm not kidding. I pointed out that she didn't do something that she's supposed to do w/ every call so she goes to me, and I quote "How can you say that I don't do that on every call?!" Uh, b/c you -don't- do it on every call. You missed it twice out of the 3 calls I monitored. I think at that point it pretty much broke down to where I just wanted to see what other dumb thing she'd say. And then afterwards I notated the crap outta her journal. 1700+ words. And today she talked to my OM, and my OM comes to me afterwards and goes," I just spent an hour w/ her and to talk to you about what she told me would take another hour so I'm just going to postpone it until next day." He didn't leave anything in her journal but there's probably something in mine. And if some SLR didn't let our supervisor know that we knew where to find them, we'd still have access to it. Oh, and that other dumb SLR who was caught editing his own journal. What an idiot.

And it doesn't help that for the last....oh I dunno month or so, I've been having a lot of pains in my abdomen region. At times I think it's PMS cramps (but so far, no evidence of it), and then it moves so that I feel like I'm going to throw up, and sometimes it's flu-like b/c I ache at the joints and have problems w/ my body temperature. I've walked around hunched over at work b/c it hurt so much, and my eyes aren't ready to tear up just b/c I'm so pissed off, depressed, and frustrated.

And I suppose the underlying thing is that I feel quite trapped in the job. I really detest job interviews...well unless I know I'm eminently overqualified for it I guess. And I really mean overqualified. I was qualified for the stupid TL thing, but didn't feel overqualified so at times I was just blurting out whatever sounded right. So there was no element of confidance there. And it's kinda like, what else do I do outside my job? Well aside from my ps2, collection of manga, comic books, dvds, there's not much else. I'm not improving any skills, and even my housework has fallen to the wayside. Sadly enough I've taken a fair bit of pride in how long and glossy my hair is even though I don't do much w/ it. And I shed like crazy. I really think I should be bald by now. Which I guess is another thing I can take pride in my hair. I may be able to form big hair balls w/ the hair I find every morning, but there's still plenty on my head!

Yeah, so to "cope" w/ this crappiness that is my life, I've taken to...having lots of sushi. I'm talking every day off, I'm heading to pick up 20+ pieces of sushi. It's getting kinda scary actually. Last day, I went there too late, and they were out, so I picked up a crab instead. The crab wasn't as good as what I've had in restaurants, but it's still crab. And cooked in the green onions and ginger style. Sooooo good just licking the sauce up.

*sigh* and there's a guy. Which I think I like. Well like -like-. But I turned him down earlier. We still flirt like mad, but it's more like practice for other potential mates. Which is all well and good, but still. I dunno. Still undecided. B/c if we go out and I turn him down again after a couple dates, it's gonna totally suck for him. And I actually care enough about his feelings to not want to hurt him. *sigh sigh* Yes double sigh.

Well I'm going to call my hubby T tomorrow and hopefully 1st wife isn't playing hooky so that we can go out. Actually after D and I live together for over a year, then we'd be common-law. Which would mean D would finally get his dream of being in a polygamous relationship, and I'd have 2 hubbies. And his 1st wife would be my best bud who is also best bud's w/ my 1st husb, and none of us will have ever actually met his 1st wife.

Quiz: What City Do You Belong In?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Lovely ol' place. Full of jolly blighters, wot? T'would be a real treat to go on the lolly and meet the odd chap or two for a pint.

Saw X-Men3

Yep, watched the midnight showing of X-Men 3, and while it may say Last Stand, there's definitely room for a sequel. However they'll probably need a few new characters, and definitely moving off the comic book history. FX were awesome and Kelsey Grammar was awesome as Beast. D made a lotta fun of me every time I squealed when he appeared, said "Oh my Stars and Garters" and fought. And yes people died. Storm actually got to do something. And deliver decent lines! Gotta watch it again, probably w/ JR who's seeing it...today, and then w/ some more friends. There was a section of Convergys employees there, and it was great fun. Stan Lee was in it of course. Awesome to see Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen acting together and opposite of each other. Logan was main focus of the movie again. Not that Hugh Jackman wasn't good, but again?! Geeez, shoulda been about the conflict w/in Beast. I think they really shortshrifted him, and no it's really not the fangirl talking.

But I really needed the movie. Another sh!tty day, thanks to my OM doing a 180 on what he told me earlier which made me look like an @ss to my agent. I was so furious after I told him what happened to my coaching session that I went back to my desk, bit my knuckles, cried a bit, grabbed my eyedrops and went to the washroom and was kinda okay. And then went back to desk, aimed a bunch of it to JR, and then my OM came to talk to me, and that's where I went "I'm so frustrated b/c of what you did," and started bawling again. And he has the nerve to tell me that I should be so morally upset that I had to tell a "white lie" to my rep b/c he wanted to be the one to talk to her about a crappy call, but b/c he mentioned it and was unable to play it to the rep, the rep asked me about it. And then he tries to explain his 180 to me, and it's like "so b/c you didn't think this thru, you tell me to say something to my rep which you contradict". I was soooo pissed. Anyways, he goes to me "take off at 10:00" which is really only 30 min before my scheduled end time anyways. Yeah, whoop dee doo. And he asked me how I thought I did on my interview out of 10, so I go 5. And then he asks me how much effort do I think I put into this job, and I go 10. And he's like well actually I'd say 9 b/c 10 is pretty high. So I go to him "have you checked my door swipes?" and he says "No, should I?" in that way of 'have you been taking off in the middle of the day and that's why you're always here so freaking late?'. So I tell him, "well if you did, then you'd have to give me a week off. Paid." He was a bit quiet after that. And the kicker is, the centre is behind on monitors for the month, however I've already hit my target and gone over by 10 (which incidentally was what he was threatening in the TL meeting to increase the target to just so that we'll meet the centre target). So not only have I met my target, but I have also met the proposed future target. AND I DON'T GET THE F*CKING JOB?!?!?! I've been doing the same crap as the other TLs w/ the exception making some payroll adjustments (which really take about 10 min), have stats that are in the upper middle of the centre, and I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH?! JR vented to me about this b*llshit earlier b/c all the SLRs got shafted, and seriously, they have to get their heads outta their @sses. The trainers got appreciation day, where the hell is ours?!

Anyways, I'll have to be more civil when I go for my appt w/ my OM where he goes over my interview. But if he's so worried about retention, maybe he should start retaining the people who deserve it.

Quiz: What Gemstone Are You?

Your Gemstone is Topaz

Comforting, considerate, and stable. You are down to earth and grounded.

What Gemstone Are You?

Hmmm, topaz. Well, let's see about topazes. From The Mineral Gallery "

• Chemistry: Al 2 SiO 4 (F, OH) 3, Aluminum silicate fluoride hydroxide.
• Class: Silicates
• Subclass: Nesosilicates
• Uses: gemstones and optical properties are useful in industry.

...Topaz is the hardest silicate mineral and one of the hardest minerals in nature....Topaz crystals can reach incredible size of several houndred pounds. Topaz can make very attractive mineral specimens due to their high luster, nice colors and well formed and multifaceted crystals."

Well that was informative. Unfortunately I wasn't born in November, but I'm useful, can get really big, and can cleave easily if hit in the right spot, but am hard the rest of the time. Huhn, well I guess that's actually a pretty accurate assessment.

If only we all walked out...

Well found out who got the TL positions. And it was none of the SLRs. At least not from the looks of it. Actually probably not at all. It went to the 2 trainers that applied and a RH. So out of the 5 positions offered, 3 are filled, and possibly the other 2 are filled by external hires. That is just a knee btwn the legs, kicking sand in the face while since you're on the ground, and then taking a dump on you. Yup, it's going to be pretty nasty back where a lot of us sit. And a lot of us were talking about looking for another job if we didn't get a good reason for not getting it, or namely if people got it that we don't think deserved it. Nothing against the RH, but WTF?!

At least there were a fair bit of people on my team that thought that I should get the job b/c they thought I was a really good TL. And you know what, I may not be the best at interviews, and I don't play office politics well b/c all I see is a lotta bullsh!t, but stats-wise and the fact that I've consistently been near the top of the production team in monitors and quality should mean a lot more than how smooth I am. Pffffttt, whatever. Of course, I'm sure they'll monitor how well I take the rejection and if I just slack off or just keep working steady as usual. Although I really think we should all take off for a couple hours at the same time and see how they like it for dissing us like this. Bloody wankers!

Heh, I was just thinking that I should fill out one of those sheets for leave of absences that I usually end up doing for schedule accomodation for the reps. Hmmm, Quality, well let's see I haven't been on the phones for about 3 months, but considering my target for monitors is 100 and I always go over that by about 10 whereas other TLs struggle just to get 90. Oh, and attendance, well if you consider all the unpaid OT I've done, I think I have 120% attendance. So yeah, FU I want a break from this crap. And to look for something better.

And in a way I'm angry, but I'm also sorta resigned to the fact that I will inevitably get screwed b/c I don't play their game. So I think it's time to get back to school, or at least do something I want to do instead of slave away at this dead-end place. It pays the bills, but doesn't anything else for me.

Descent into Hell

Had the TL interview and it was as horrible as I thought. However I wasn't the first one to do it. However I was forced to work 11 hrs. They told me the interview was on my "personal time". F*cking wankers. I'm so tired. Going to sleep now.

Guinea Pig

Well, yesterday of the 3 people I asked, I was the only one that got the interview letter. The others didn't letters which either means that they're doing the interviews in 2+ waves or they're printing the PFO letters later. And they have a new format for the interview, it's about 3 hours w/ 3 parts, done by all the OMs + site director and Quality head. Basically it's modelled after the TL Review/Assessment that the current TLs had to go thru. And since I have mine tomorrow in the morning...I must be the guinea pig. (only gave me really 1 day to prepare b/c I can't really prepare at work when I'm working now, can I?) I'm so looking forward to it, not! Actually I'm getting nauseous just writing about it. I'm not good w/ interviews in the first place and having no real clue on what kind of torture they may put me thru. Or right, shouldn't think of it as torture, just merely a way to get to know me better session. But what if I don't want them to know me?!?!

And of course if I turn it down, then all the other people who got PFO letter would be upset at me. Which is up to them of course, I can't control their feelings, and all that like JR told me, but still. I showed the letter to those who didn't get one, and one of them upon seeing the format, went "Gawd, I'm glad I didn't get it then. Holy cr@p!" Anyways, as for preparation... considering just thinking about it makes me wanna puke... I think I'll wing it for answers, but have a format on how to answer. That may be the best and only way to do it b/c otherwise I'll have written out scenario after scenario, and might as well have a book. Unlike D, I don't rehearse potential conversations.

Read Ranma Vol 34 last night, and it was Ranma's mother finding out. And it did give me strength b/c Ranma worried and worried, and his mom just accepted it. Of course she was so happy to see him that she didn't care, but it's sorta the "not all things are going to be worst case scenario". Although I think I will ask if I get a washroom break btwn the interview parts. So my worst case scenario? I think aside from throwing up, stuttering, talking so fast I don't even know what I'm saying, sweating so much I'm drenched, drawing complete blanks and having to make something b/c even though they say "take your time" we all know they're not going to sit there for 5 min while you try to think of something.

Uhhhnnn, not feeling well. And I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tks in when I get there b/c the interview starts at 11:30 and my shift starts at 2:00-10:30 and I really don't want to be there for 11 hrs. *hurk* This royally sucks. Maybe if I slip in the tub, I don't have to do it and they'll just give it to me.

So embarrasing, but I suppose I should note it....

It was on Monday that I'd requested immediate vacation days from my OM and when he asked why, I got all upset crying and said I was super-stressed out. Why? Trying to do too much at the same time? Spending 9+ hr days at work? Trying to be friendly and happy to my agents when I want to strangle half of them and shake sense into the rest? Who knows. But it was so embarrasing, and the problem is that once I start, I can't stop, especially if I think about it again. So I actually ended up crying about 3 more times afterwards. Once in the bathroom, and then twice again when I was in the private room w/ JR. The only way I could compose myself was to think/talk about anything else. So I thought up names for my future cows in Harvest Moon. Wiped my eyes so many times that my eyelids were raw, and I had to splash water on my eyes the next morning when I was washing my face instead of using my face cloth. And then my tea tree oil moisturizer burnt, so I had to pull out the night cream. It was very rough. I'm okay now, although on Wednesday, when someone said that I didn't look well and I should go home, I got all upset again. It's just *shudder* bad. Like I've said before, never was this wasted when I was on the phones. Although when I was SLR...maybe I should get outta this place. But it's sorta, will any other place be different?

Relaxing but productive weekend

So after the week from heck, I have the weekend off. Spent it getting a VM really late so I missed going to the graveyard for Mother's day. Did an AIDS mouth swab test for life insurance. Crossed the river valley on my own, and spent about 4 hours on Whyte Ave, going up and down to the different optomertrists shops looking for sunglasses. Found a pair of Raybans that came closest to fitting and looking decent but it was $124. Gawd, so sucks having a huge wide head. Didn't buy them though. I'll just keep looking. Got my yaoi. Little Butterfly struck a chord. And forgot to get backing boards. Ate sushi, and was having a very pleasant time too, slowly drinking my tea, savouring each piece... until a quartet of ignorant airheads came in and sat next to me. Then the migraine came back. Read a manga in Chapters. Walked in the park and nearly walked off the path into the bushes b/c I was busy staring at the sky thru the branches of the trees. That was amazing fun to just walk down the path like that, and looking at the clouds and trees. Very peaceful and relaxing. Cooked. Spent about 2 hrs belting out tune on Karaoke Revolution. I think I'm getting better. Played Harvest Moon. Played Star Ocean. Slept.

Pointed out that D's alarm is waking me up even though he goes back to sleep afterwards. Emptied out my drawers and Rubbermaid and sorted comics. Badly regretted forgetting to pick up backing boards. I have over 2 yrs worth of Hellblazer I need to bag. Kowai! I seem to be missing several books also, including my X-Statix vs Avengers TPB. I think I lent it, and several others to J. We used to share books, and he kept several titles and I had a bunch, so I dunno who's keeping She-Hulk b/c I have some of the latter issues. I'm starting to run out of room in my boxes. They used to be sorted btwn families, but now they're all jumbled together. Black Panther is not a limited series. I'm quite enjoying the KOF 2003 that Dr. Master is putting out. Ash was sorta a meh char when I played him on PS2, didn't have great moves, but he's a hoot in the comic. However the SNK vs. Capcom is totally p!ssing me off. Iori's getting his ass handed to him, even Orochi Iori gets captured and killed in one shot. WTF?! And I sooooo hate Bison. Stupid pillow thighs.

*sigh* I don't want to go to work tomorrow. They still haven't handed out the PFO/interview letters. And I still don't know if I wanna even bother trying for TL. I wrote a pretty intense email to my former TL, who's currently a pariah at the centre b/c of office politics, and b/c he and his wife just had a baby, he hasn't replied yet. I dunno what to do. I think my head's still mussed up. And it doesn't help that one of my reps had a call that was recorded and the customer gave her cr@ppy mark. But listening to the call, the customer was a total b!tch. She messed herself up and then accuses us of screwing her. She didn't have a single clue of what she was saying, just complained about the bill. My agent tried to help her, but knew that the customer was an idiot, and you know how it's just too tempting to talk at people who are morons and talking outta their asses? Well that's kinda what happened. So my OM asked me to listen to the call and rate it, and so I said that yeah, the agent was argumentative but did try to help the customer but the customer wouldn't listen, so there's not much more the agent coulda done. Two egos clashing. OM didn't think the same way, and started quizzing me on the elements of call quality. Well I don't believe in double-deducting for things, but he was saying the issue couldn't be resolved b/c the agent's fault, whereas my stance is that the agent attempted multiple times. Anyways, he ends up telling me that I can't tell her that he and the site director are going to pull the agent aside and talk to her about the call, and I have to back them on their decision. Such bogus. I really hate office politics. I wonder if that's half my stress. Oh screw half the stress, probably almost all my stress. You can't just do your job, gotta watch out for everyone's egos, and then when you try, then they say you're being a fool. Bleeaaaahhhhkkkkk!

Gotta get work outta mind so I can get to sleep. Hurm, I was strangely quite hungry this evening. Had big bowl of taro noodles w/ squid, carrots, celery, chives and it was tres tasty. But I was still hungry! So I cooked up a chicken thigh and it sorta filled me. And then about 3 hrs later b/c D was cooking pizza, I had 1/4 of a 12" pie. Like what the heck??! Anyways.... From Far Away is an excellent manga. Orphen isn't bad. I'm hesitant to read Yami no Matsuei b/c I think Vol 11 is the last one. Sorta the if you don't say it, it ain't true syndrome. Reading H's Harry Potter. Oh, I'd cleaned the bathtub on Tuesday(had nasty bathtub ring and was seriously backing up) (b/c Monday was my really really bad day, and Tuesday was my day off) and since I went home early on Wednesday, I sat in the bath for about 1 1/2 hrs soaking and reading Potter. Although I wasn't feeling too well still b/c I was getting seasick. Shush, it's true, the waves kinda made me sick. Read a good chunk of it while I had Anime Hardcore Radio playing. Nice having the bathroom connect to your room, though I wish I had a fan in the bathroom sometimes....it's for when I use the Liquid Plumber!

Quiz: What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Your Ideal Relationship is Friends Only

Honestly, you're not really ready for a relationship right now. And you prefer to keep things platonic, for now. That's not to say that one of your friends could be dating material. You're just taking a break for now.

What's Your Ideal Relations

Yeah, that sounds about right. Lord knows, I've had plenty of offers. And just b/c my break has been...a long time, is fine w/ me.

Another round of the ass-kissing

*groan* They opened up 5 postings for TL and I applied, ever so dutifully. Do I really want it? Errr, sorta maybe, but I don't wanna work in a call centre forever. There's that stigma associated w/ it for one thing. And although I'm getting better at not bringing my crap home (by reading loads of manga/comics, playing on PS2, and thinking of their plots when I'm trying to get to sleep instead of what sh@t I have to do the next day), I still end up staying at work for more than my shift to do crap. Want the money, but don't want the responsibility I guess. Or should I say don't want to feel like I've cleaned out the Valkyries' stables only to be told to clean out Zeus' stables and afterwards clean up after Dionysius' orgies. It's caused me unbelievable amts of stress that I've broken down in front of my MO, and probably should've gone home but I had crap to do, so I just took a half hour break and went back to work.

Finished writing an email to one of my TLs that's away on leave, and basically just recalling all the stuff I have to go thru at work, sent me into tears. Even commenting on it now... has me weeping. It's just...I'm so f*cking stressed. I don't know if it's the time of the month, b/c H also had hers recently, and w/ my non-regular non-cycle it could really happen almost any time after 30 days. Ugh, was looking in my blog/memory device and it's been just over a month that I wrote I'd bawled in front of my MO. And here I go again. I'm not quite at the point where I'm leaving dents in my knuckles from jamming it in my mouth to keep from screaming and crying (yes, I did that at work and the pain helped) but I'm getting close. All's I know is that I never had to do this when I was on the phones.

*heavy breath* Anyways, just wanted to make a note to help me w/ my memory. This is what my life is like right now, and I don't know how to make it better. I know it's not the sh@ts and all that bollocks about others being worse off, and I should focus on all the good stuff that I've got for me....but it's just this tiny gap in a smothering fog of despair. (I won't say light and dark b/c it's so cliche and really why is dark so bad? I know the fairy tale about fire and dangerous night for the Cro-Magnon) Going to bed. They're going to announce who gets the PFO letter and who has to get their clothes to the drycleaners...today.

Why I have a Blog Redux

Again, I forgot my nephew's name. I just remember that I didn't like it particularly b/c it was common, and not at all interesting. And since all the neices' names ended in -a I thought his did as well. (but of course that's a way of feminizing masculine names, but you never know. There might be an European male name that ends in -a) But it doesn't. And it's Justin. I dunno why Justin. I forgot to ask my brother. What would I name my son (if I ever have one)? Hmmmm, well if I tried not to be Japanese... probably Logan. That's a nice name. And yes, that'd be b/c it's Wolvie's name. But it's a nice strong name, and not verily common. Or Henry after my fav bouncing blue Beast. Uh yeah, I'd be naming my kids after fictional characters, which is a long tradition.

Quiz: What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Um, I guess? A lot of people tell me I'm funny or silly. And yes I do like Pokemon... and pro-wrestling... and Frasier. I've been told I'm bubbly by my Team Leader. I dunno. I don't try to seduce anyone, probably b/c I really don't care about sex and I'm not someone that needs to be cuddled. I'm not a physical person. Not usually anyways. When I was bawling my head off, I did need a hug though.

Quiz: What Is Your Life Path Number?

Your Life Path Number is 11

Your purpose in life is to inspire others Your amazing energy draws people to you, and you give them great insight in return. You hold a great amount of power over others, without even trying. You have the makings of an inventor, artist, religious leader, or prophet. In love, you are sensitive and passionate. You connect with your partner on a very deep level. You have great abilities, but you are often way too critical of yourself. You don't fit in - and instead of celebrating your differences, you dwell on them. You have high expectations of yourself. But sometimes you set them too high and don't achieve anything.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Huhn. And I'm a Team Leader. Well I did tell this one rep, who was held back in Nesting (basically it's babysitting the reps, they get 5x the support to prep them for having to wait for help) and I'd had a 1 1/2 hr discussion about empathy, that I had to check if I'd coached him about having poor empathy before b/c his empathy statements are so good now. And I really did mean it b/c I did look in his journal. So I guess I've inspired some people. Just don't know how long his high will last since he's gotta pretty crappy self-esteem and gets frustrated easily. And he got a lousy monitor by Quality.

I hate my neighbours

just a really good line.

I was re-reading my blog post, and this huge thump came from my neighbours. So I say (yes I talk to myself. Well actually not to myself, I'm really talking to my lovelies in my room. Yeah, and I understand they have tags on them. And are filled w/ polyester or other stuffing material. What's your point?), "If you're going to have a fight, you should take it out the window." We're on the 17th floor. Tee hee. That was my good line. If you missed it. Bastards.... Sometimes I feel like Salty Taro.

I really hate whiny insecure people

Get home, it's been a real sh!t-@ss week where I broke down in front of my OM and started bawling b/c I was so stressed out, and what do I get to find in my email? A little note from my "friend" J who's been working 80 hrs weeks saying that
"Its finally
> starting to sink in
> that now [he's] just a causal friend/assocciate"
And why pray tell, would he think that? I'm working 50 hrs weeks and completely different schedules that it's nigh-impossible to coordinate, but I still call him to see if he's avail to go to do our usual comic shopping trip. But lo 'n' behold he's too busy, so I cannot live w/o my fix, instead go by myself. And spend $100s of dollars (yes, those are the major purchases on my credit card). And last week he actually had time to go, but since I already went to our usual hangout on Wednesday, I insisted that we go to another store so that I could find anything I might be missing. And I found a KOF wallscroll. Too bad it had a rip in it (typical from that store) but still cute. And it was his mom's b-day that day too, and I've been invited to family celebrations for oh... last 3-4 years? But did he invite me? Hell no. Instead of having turkey dinner, I had to settle for store-bought sushi. Which was okay (I don't think they make much nigiri anymore b/c it's more perishable), but his parents' cooking is lovely. Do I say to him, WTF? Nope, and then what do I find in my email a few days later? That f^cking email. Well f-u!

All day I have to babysit a bunch of people who either have zero self-esteem or are trying to pull a fast one on me. I was told by my OM to be more friendly w/ my staff and say hi to them more often. This to a person who routinely walks past her friends, and is constantly teased that I'm ignoring them. To me, the 3 minutes I have to spend on each of them (3*15) is time that I could spend on doing paperwork that their laziness, ineptitude and/or cheating causes. So guess what? I don't feel like coming home, and getting this bloody note from another whiner. Who has self-esteem issues. I do enough false platitudes and positive reinforcement at work, I don't need to do it at home. If he thinks I'm that shallow, well he can live in his little world of self-wallowing despair. I don't need that sh!t. Just really p!sses me off.

*pant pant*

I'm not sure if I'm finished my rant. But yeah I'm pissed. *breathe* Okay, I looked to see if there were further emails from him, and there were. I'd left him a VM inviting him to the wrestlemania shindig that I'm throwing at my apt. And he's accepted. Which means he can meet my work friends, one of whom is actively chasing me, has given me backrubs, taken me to movies, gotten me drunk but remained gentlemanly, who I shuffled to after my bawling at work, who gave me a small floral arrangment (live orchids...well as live as they can be when they're stuck in florist sponge) b/c I was so stressed. And the other who gave me a teddy bear for my b-day. (I'd asked for cute and fuzzy and I was referring to YuGiOh cards) ROFL. This is going to be so f^cking hilarious. Too bad D will be at work and can't watch the fireworks. D loves that kind of stuff. Maybe he should call sick.

Well I guess we can go back to analyzing that first email. Let's see, when we figured out that we would hang out on Sunday, that was b/c he'd called me on my cell, and at that time I was eating KFC w/ 3 other guys (D, TT, W) just before we were going karaoke. So of course he can hear the guys, and he goes "what are you doing?" Reflex response to him is to deny everything. B/c he has 0 self-esteem. But it was sorta "uh not much, just going out w/ some friends." And when we met up the next day, he didn't even ask about my night b/c he "guess [he] felt little akward." Which btw was pretty darn fun once I loosened up and my voice loosened up so I could get close to my normal range. Otherwise I sing sharp and high. (wait, did I write about this before? Oh sh!t, I did. *re-reading* Oooo, I guess I am pretty shallow. Wow, nothing like being high-n-mighty and eating crow in the same post) Where did eating crow come from anyways?!

You know what, I'm just going to delete that reply to his email. Bad idea. Yup. I'll just reply to his other email where he accepted the invitation and was much more pleasant.

Rationally Yes...Emotionally No

*sigh* so a weekend that I didn't hang out w/ JR. Yes it's true, after about 4 or so weeks running, we didn't hang out together. We were going to though. Another stressful week for me, full of staying at work late, dragged out only by wrestling and friends waiting for me. So JR was going to help me de-stress, like he has the past few weeks by taking me out to a movie or drinking. I swear this position is going to make me an alcoholic. Came home one night, and I told D, with all seriousness "I feel like having a beer." And I hate beer. Really hate it. Tastes like crap. But my mind was still filled w/ work-sh!t just spinning around, driving me crazy b/c it's going to be something I'll have to deal w/ next day which will inevitably be added onto by more cr@p that the team will come up w/.

Oh and hoh hoh hoh, there was a TL position that they posted. But only for 1. And a bunch of people put in applications. But I was talking w/ my TL, and he said that all the TLs in the Nesting teams (sorta the halfway house to being on the floor) want out b/c they hate it. You have to coddle the agents, monitor twice as much as regular TLs, constantly have team meetings, and it's insanely difficult for paperwork. So any TL position that opens up will inevitably be for the Nesting position. And seriously, if they say they're going to put me there, I'd rather be on the phones. Get paid about $13 for it anyways. Speaking of my TL, he got in trouble b/c he took an escalation from a RH that another TL was listening to so she could monitor the RH. But instead of taking off the headset when he came on, she continued to listen and didn't like how he handled it. And instead of talking to him about it, she sent an email to her OM and his OM. So he gets put on a disciplinary action that's 1 step away from employment review. Is it any wonder that so many TLs and people have quit?

Anyways, trying to get away from work here, good ol' JR. So on Sat, we were discussing what to do, and I AIMed him that I wanted to get the Karaoke Revolution game, and play it b/c singing makes me feel better. Then I got a call from TT who wanted to know if I wanted to karaoke. So I went karaoke last night, was pretty fun. I think I sing better w/ a partner. And I don't care who. When it's just me, I feel really self-conscious and my voice tightens up. I'm one of those ones who want to sound good, so I stick to the lyrics and don't improv stuff during the instrumental parts. I love singing "Time after Time" by Cyndi Lauper. I tried out "Waterfalls" by TLC but I only really remember the chorus. And then there was a like a rapping part (I guess it was supposed to be rap cause I don't remember it from the song) and it was pretty fast, so I just started saying whatever appeared on the screen as fast as I could read it. But I didn't really read, I just said it, and a couple times I was too fast. Guess it helps to be able to read romanization. D picked "Phantom of the Opera" to sing w/ me, and when I sang the first part, I was too high so I was getting really offkey, so I dropped it an octave in the second part. Yeah, I'm more a mezzo-soprano.

Anyways, when I was out w/ the guys, J called me, and the first thing he asked after how I was, was of course what I was doing. So it's like "not much...going out w/ my friends." Anyways we met today (or I suppose yesterday) and he didn't ask what I did. But it turned out to be his mum's b-day and he was going to have dinner w/ them. And in the past, I was always welcome, and he didn't say if I was invited or not, and I didn't ask, but I did't have turkey dinner. Well whatever really. We didn't do much except go shopping. Course he didn't say if he any plans either. We just talked about our crappy jobs, how many comics we were missing, that kinda stuff. And ya know, it's all fine for me. There's the small twinge of "oh I'm not getting free food anymore" but other than that, I don't miss him that much.

Later JR gave me a call to see if I wanted a drive home from work since he was in the neighbourhood (yeah it's a 10 min walk, but he does that anyways) but I woulda been off work by the time he called anyways. And if I was supposed to work today/yesterday, oh well. And he said he missed me even though we'll see each other tomorrow/today, and we'd seen each other on Friday. And while the sentiment is appreciated, it's really not returned. I suppose it could be b/c I've lost my mom when I was younger, so I'm not sensitive to missing people. But while I do like JR, and when I think about it, he's not a bad dude, nice voice, kinda cute, major flirt, wicked sense of humour, and I could see holding hands w/ him. But emotionally, it's like "eh" makes no difference to me. Maybe b/c I don't have that emotional void to fill or something. I dunno. I bawl like a baby whenever I see the characters losing their family (mothers are the worst for me) and I cried for hours w/ Eddie's death. But there are few people I could say that I miss when I don't see/talk to them. Sorta that outta sight, outta mind thing.

Quiz: The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 1.86

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

Um... uh... Oh boy. Mind you I had to wing some of the answers b/c...I'm not that experienced. But oy vey, I think I take too many quizzes. Really the whole sexuality thing is too complex to be covered in a 5 min quiz, cause I don't think I really fit into anything.

Followup to Quiz

Heh, I was looking thru all the results, and I realized I actually got pain, not fear. Wow, even now I subconsciously avoid writing about what could be bothering me b/c I want to avoid it. But I think Fear would be close to my results too. W/ a small dose of Purity. Interesting that most people got Pain. Maybe b/c they're taking quizzes to escape from something? (well aside from work) (or it could be the source of their pain)

Quiz: What lies behind your eyes?

Pain lies behind your eyes. You may seem normal on

the outside, but on the inside there is

something destroying you. You don't talk

about it because you hope it will go away.

But no matter how hard you try, you can't

hide from it. Maybe if you try talking to

someone, you may be relieved...


What lies behind your eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla

This was a really good quiz. Really made you think. It seems pretty accurate. When my TL told me that something must be bothering me b/c I wasn't my usual bubbly self, I went "I'm bubbly?!" And I guess I am, or at least I seem pretty nice. It seems the older I get, the less able I am to handle fear. Nearly scared myself peeless when I was reading The Ring manga. I'm not kidding. Was reading it at night, and then there were parts where I nearly dropped the book, and at the end, I was holding it as far as possible when reading the last couple of pages. Then afterwards I wanted it out my room, but I was too scared to open the door. So I put it facedown by my door, and didn't go back to bed. Stayed up until it was light, and hightailed it back to the bookshelf and shoved it in the back, and finally went to bed. Even typing this brings back memories of some of the panels, and freaks me out. Gotta read some yaoi to get it out. Well after I finish my damn cover letter/expression of interest.

Justifying my position

I'll say this off the bat, I really shouldn't be posting since I'm supposed to be writing a letter of interest for the Team Leader position, but I'd actually forgotten when I'd taken over my current team, so really I came to Blogger for purely research purposes. And then I realized that if I don't blog this down, I'll forget when I'd did things. Yup, it's true. Zero memory is me. So I'd taken over this current team on Feb 19, Mary's team the week before. And tomorrow I have to submit my resume and a coverletter/letter of interest. But there's no open positions. Well except for mine I guess since I'm the only SLR who hasn't had their team dissolve or isn't replacing someone on vacation.... Bastards! Yeah, it's phrased as a kind of poll for how many people are interested. I'm not sure if they're thinking of making more teams or what. But it's horribly difficult to write about yourself. W/o feeling like adding some swear words or massive bravado about how you're getting screwed over if you don't get the position. Considering my team is all a bunch a newbies, and they're at 2nd place for quality in the centre now. But anyways, I need to get this done. Maybe I'll think some crap up while I'm taking a shower. And no waterproof paper in sight either!

Quiz: Which TV boyfriend best suits you?

You should be with Dawson's Creek's Pacey Witter.

He's a class clown but his love for you makes

you feel alive. He's you're perfect match and

he would do anything for you.


Which TV boyfriend best suits you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Um who? I don't watch much TV, and from that period I was watching... Frasier, West Wing, cooking shows. Anyways, I guess he'd be like Bobby Drake aka Iceman, although I would rather have Hank McCoy aka the Beast. Which anime bf would I want? Hmmm, well since KOF is now an anime, that'd have to be Iori Yagami. Although I'd adore to have Sie Kensou or Shingo Yabuki. I can make green onion cakes! And I'll learn how to bake if need be!

After Sake, After Eight, After Something...

Oi, it's good thing I drank a lotta water. My friends JR and RJS took me out for dinner and to get me plastered, err relaxed. First we went to a Japanese restaurant, where I ended up eating both my appetizers b/c no one else wanted any of it(not that I minded. Mmmmm Saba Shioyaki and Tempura), and then having RJS's beef tataki b/c well, they don't like their meat raw. It was pretty wierd that the chicken yakitori was also done the same way as the tataki, just seared on the outside. RJS sent it back to be fully cooked. Never seen yakitori like that before. And we had an entire bottle of warm sake. And it wasn't one of the bottles you normally see in the anime, it was at least 1.5L 's worth. Hot sake is much better than lukewarm sake. But being a lightweight, it wasn't all to my liking. But JR and RJS were praising it like crazy, so I guess it was good. Anyways I had chirashi, and by the end of the dinner, I was pretty hammered. I could hear my heartbeat, and since JR had to drive, we had to finish the bottle.

But the night wasn't over! We were going to the Bank, but there was lineup, and since I was in my TL clothes, we couldn't go to Suburbs or First City. We ended up going to Sherlock Holmes. And JR ordered me something called... "Calibra" or something like that (had lime in it, and came in a mug w/ straw), but it was pretty gross, so we asked the waitress for ideas,and I got an After Eight. Which was good, and I finished that pretty fast. Then JR was going to get me another but I wanted something different but of course being a drinking virgin, I didn't have a clue what I wanted. So she got me something that turned my teeth blue but was in a mug w/ a straw. JR said it was probably an Astropop. It kinda tasted like pop. Then he ordered me a Baja Rosa which wasn't so good. The tequila killed the strawberry taste. Well by then I was starting to fall asleep, I was getting a pretty good headache too, and my cheeks were hurting from laughing and smiling so much. And at least my stomach hurt b/c I was laughing so much, instead of being all tensed from the stress.

Which is why they took me out. I've been so stressed out from managing 2 teams, reporting to 2 MOs, and trying to get the team into any semblence of improvement since both TLs basically left me w/o any help on their teams, just lots of paperwork. One of the TLs asked how I was doing, the standard question, and I went "I'm ready to be checked into the mental hospital." I was trying to be funny but I guess I looked so out of it, AJ goes "really?!", and I go "I'm joking," and then I start crying. I just have this problem when people fuss over me. I dunno, it makes me feel worse. Before when I was slaving away on MT's team and putting in 10-11 hrs days, one of my friends/peers said in a really kind but exasperated voice "Go home, you're killing yourself." And I didn't start bawling, but tears were leaking and I kinda mumbled "I know, but I gotta get this sh!t done." At least w/ CS's team I've only had to work 2 hrs overtime once, and the rest of the time, I've only been doing less than half an hour extra. I suppose it's technically my team b/c CS isn't coming back, and it's now starting week 2 I'll have the team. So far they haven't told me that they're getting someone to replace me or dissolve the team. Gawd, it's all a bunch of newbies, and there's so much that they don't know. And then there's one guy who's really gay... and really Catholic. So he's trying to be a celibate 51 year-old. And he smells, and has other medical issues. And is pretty stupid too, you have to repeat things 5 times before he gets it. And it's not you just repeating it, he has to repeat it to himself 5 times. And I'm still not sure if he gets it or if he's just trying to get me to shut up. I didn't know about the gay Catholic part until later, but after coaching him I had plenty of ammunition for mocking. And now that I know he's Catholic, let's just say it's really bad to have an atheist-agnostic for a TL.

What's an atheist-agnostic? Other than someone who can't seem to make up their mind but disclaims that they can't make up their mind? For me anyways, a lot of it is anti-established religion. Christianity, Islam, religions that are organized around central omnipotent, omniscient figure are a load of baloney to me. 1) they're probably just ripping from each other 2) they're worshipping the same character 3)the heads of the religion are making it up as they go along 4) its usefulness to gather a community and protect against outside forces are no longer valid in today's world 5)opiate for the masses. I really do believe in the latter. If you're a member, or were raised in that environment, you're probably a really good sheep. So there's the atheist part, I think most religions are a load of crock, especially when it bestows omnipotence & perfection to any figure. So the agnostic part is that I'm not so full of myself that I don't notice there are some wierd things going on, with an ability beyond our comprehension. But one society's science is another's magic. I'm not saying that we'll figure everything out (b/c then that'd be pretty boring), just that there's always something beyond us, but is falliable and potent. Humans are bed lice in the universe.

Why do they alway call living hell a "learning experience"?

So I've been put in charge of another team, and it's brings to mind "is this going to be a bad team or good team?" The other team I had was elements of both but more of the former, it's not good when the TL and OM feels sorry for saddling you with it. And I know I've told my peers about the probs w/ the team, it's just sorta, was I too vocal? B/c my new OM sorta gave me this look when he said he wanted to see me the next day for a meeting about my new team. It's like, errrr, wha??!! I'm sorry if I'm a little pissed off having to work 11 hr days b/c the team's so f-ed up and I have to rewrite all these disciplinary things, and review things that shoulda been taken care of ages ago. I spent a day working w/ the new team, and considering I was doing the same stuff, I only did 6 min of OT. Hmm, so either I'll have my blinders taken away and toss in more 11 hr days, or the team will be less of a chore to manage. I dunno. It's just driving me nuts this uncertainty.

And then there's a rumor that the prev team isn't going into training, so it's kinda WTF?! I'm not managing 2 teams. Screw off. Unless I get OM pay which should be around 50 000/year. It's just ridiculous. It's enough of a hassle w/ trying to work on clearing up stuff for the old team that I'd forgotten to check some things for the new team.

I'm hungry, I guess I'll have to get up now. Yes, and the schedule change too from 5:55am to 2:00pm start is screwing w/ my sleep too. Can't stay in bed past 10. End up reading tons of manga instead, and by the time I'm tired, it's time to get up.

Quiz: What Element Are you?

Earth: You are the calm and completely shy person.

You have a senseitivity towards nature in

general and deep love for freinds and family.

You grow very attached to those you love like

freinds, and family but you deeply avoid

those who are new. Part of the reason for

this is because you tend to despise change.

The sky and the forest tend to be where you

feel most comfortable, especailally if you

live in suburban and burban areas. In

general, your are a fiercely shy person but

when courage is absolutely neccesary, you

pounce and protect those you love. Those who

are attached to Earth tend to be very caring

and loving and have the best ears for

listening and a wide amount of knowledge for

advice.

Earth:
Listener
Great Advice
Shy
Smart
Loyal
Caring
Loving


What Element Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hmm, I always seem to get earth. Ah well, that's ok. W/o earth we wouldn't have anywhere to live.

Quiz: What power do you use

You have the power of EARTH
Nature is

not a place to visit, it is home


What power do you use ((ANIME PICS!!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah, Earth. I built a few characters w/ earth-based powers. Unfortunately the GMs usually ruled that earth-control doesn't extend to all elements found in earth ie, carbon, silicon. Heh heh. BTW, that's my idea, so don't steal it! Very bad. B/c then I'll make you drown in earth.

The vacation didn't work

So I was given a team to take over for 3 days while the TL tried to get better(which was pretty stressful), and then the week after, I ended getting 32 hrs on Duty b/c someone else had a funeral to go to, and then I booked 3 days off for vacation, which combined w/ my regular days off gave me a total of 6 days off + the 4 shifts of duty (which is sorta like sleeping on the job) and I'm still not feeling better. I had been getting stomache pains which basically prevented me from eating more than a cup of food comfortably. And my sinuses were going crazy and my eyes were itchy. I figured out finally that w/ the crazy warm weather that we've been having there's probably been a lotta dust and pollen going around which would expl the hayfever. Which doesn't make it any better, but at least I know. But I can't use the anti-histamines b/c the apt is really dry, although I guess I could plug in the vaporizer but I'd also need to get vinegar to dissolve the sediment that builds up on the ... uh...electrodes? Well basically it's 2 metal bars that when a current runs btwn them causes the water to boil and hence steam to be produced. Anyways, still stomach pains and I'm running out of pills. When it happened before, they disappeared after I'd moved. Of course that won't help now.

Apt living itself is ok. There is of course my neighbor who must have some auto-tap turner b/c the damn water will run for about 30 sec, turn off for 2 min, and then on again all thru the night. And then the other neighbor w/ the thumpa-thumpa music. However my roommate D causes the most trouble. He caused a noise complaint. I'd have to partially agree w/ his assessment of himself, he's probably got some kind of autism. Or ADD. And procrastination like crazy. Seems he forgot that it was after midnight and he was blasting his computer speakers. It's like dude, you looked at when Smackdown ended(midnight) and then saw part of Daily Show and Colbert Report, how can you not know it was after 12?! And why didnt' I tell him to turn the damn thing down? B/c I'm not his mom. I'm not around to pick up after him, so I don't clean the dishes he leaves in the sink for days. I just tell him to put it in the dishwasher if it still sits there. I'm not going to cook for him (after he made the comment that it's like still being married (H's in Korea) b/c it's nice to come home to a warm meal) but he's welcome to eat the leftovers (b/c I always cook lots so I don't have to cook the next day) but he never does and it's not my problem. I don't tell him to eat, b/c it's his responsibility. Actually I suppose I am pretty poed at him, b/c it's that Chinese/Jewish/fill-in-archetype-here motherly/grandmotherly type who makes sure that everyone is fed to their gills, and I know I'll bug T to eat better if all I see is him eating crackers for lunch. And then he never throws out the trash until I basically tell him too. Even when I left out the recyclables in the middle of the kitchen floor (I was sorting it out in the middle of playing Soul Calibur 3:Chronicles of the Sword), he just walked around it until I asked him if he could finish doing it b/c I was in the middle of a match. And yes that was a test. I've done the lion's share of cleaning the apt, washing dishes. I know now why he insisted I have the mailbox key.

Course he's probably pissed at me for hogging the tv all the time. I have to go to work earlier than him, so when I get home, it's on the ps2, and I usually play for a couple hours, and then it's Daily Show/Colbert report. Of course he could play in the morning, if he got up after I left (we're talking 3 hrs btwn when I'm at work and he's at work). And play when I go to bed as long as he kept the volume down (below 70 decibels) but he likes to blast the stereo system at about 100+ decibels. And unlike him, I don't like to talk during my shows(except for wrestling which you can just watch and don't have to listen to the commentators) and I really hate it when it's during my anime. Especially when I have the Japanese track on. So I'm sure we irritate each other fairly enough. Still have to go about making that chore list.

And now I get to take over another team for 3 weeks while the TL goes on vacation. Which will probably mean that I'll want another few days off afterwards b/c the team is like pretty cruddy. So many of them have disciplinary actions against them, and a couple of them outright hate each other, it's crazy. *sigh* I don't wanna spend another 10+ shifts there. Mind you, that was only the 1st day, 2nd day was about 9, and then 3rd day I only did 8 b/c I had to go to dinner at my brother's house. But then the next day when I was on Duty, I spent about 2 hrs just cleaning up stuff and writing email to the TL/OM about what I did. I'm thinking I might not be kidding, I will have to take out the whips and chains b/c that team's quality is the pits. Myself, I'm pretty good at quality, gotten my fair share of 100% monitors. My opening statement now is so long that I run out of breath. No joke. It's actually this: "Thank you for holding. You've reached ____ ____ Customer Service. My name is ___ ___, and I'd be happy to assist you today, but first can I start by verifying that the wireless number you're calling in reference to is __ __ ____?" So will I be hammering quality? You better believe it. And trust me, I have a set way that I want things, and lots of examples on why it works. So monitor-wise I'm not worried too much, although there are a few times when I'm not to sure if my standards are too high or how to score something. It's the paperwork that's probably going to be crushing, and handling all the team's issues.

Anyways, went to put in my contacts. Yes, I have contacts now. They're 30-day ones. I was trying to sterilize my Complete lens case by putting it in boiling water. I think if it weren't for the fact that it was against the side of the pot it woulda been okay, but it ended up bending... and well, now I have a new one. I was looking at the generic ones, but how do you sterilize those ones except by putting them in rubbing alcohol and rinsing like mad afterwards? They're were such cheap plastic looking things. I suppose you could throw them out every time you switch to a new pair. It was only $1.99 for a pair. So I got a Renu one instead, but that's not as good as the Complete one b/c it's all white, so you have to really squint to see the L. I saw some Hello Kitty ones, but I don't know if I wanna spend lots on it, especially when the optomertrist said I should chuck them after about 6 mons even if I take really good care of them. *sigh* Should just get glass cases, then I can just chuck them in boiling water for as long as I want. Or even auto-clave them if I had an auto-clave. ... was just googling lens cases. Huhn. There sure are some ugly ones out there.

Anyways, also lost my phone. Somewhere between work and apt. So annoyiing b/c that old NOK had a ringtone composer. Not like the stupid crap that they have nowadays where you put together preset blocks of music together, but a 3 octave scale, whole notes to 1/16 beats, bpm. Sure it was monophonic, but it gave me more freedom. And the calculator was very good. Now I'm looking at the SE Z520a or the NOK 6020. Read the manuals, and I'm leaning towards the SE b/c it has more features (though I doubt I'll be using the IR or Bluetooth) but I'll have to play w/ it to make sure.

The vacation didn't work

So I was given a team to take over for 3 days while the TL tried to get better(which was pretty stressful), and then the week after, I ended getting 32 hrs on Duty b/c someone else had a funeral to go to, and then I booked 3 days off for vacation, which combined w/ my regular days off gave me a total of 6 days off + the 4 shifts of duty (which is sorta like sleeping on the job) and I'm still not feeling better. I had been getting stomache pains which basically prevented me from eating more than a cup of food comfortably. And my sinuses were going crazy and my eyes were itchy. I figured out finally that w/ the crazy warm weather that we've been having there's probably been a lotta dust and pollen going around which would expl the hayfever. Which doesn't make it any better, but at least I know. But I can't use the anti-histamines b/c the apt is really dry, although I guess I could plug in the vaporizer but I'd also need to get vinegar to dissolve the sediment that builds up on the ... uh...electrodes? Well basically it's 2 metal bars that when a current runs btwn them causes the water to boil. Anyways, still stomach pains and I'm running out of pills. When it happened before, they disappeared after I'd moved. Of course that won't help now.

Apt living itself is ok. However my roommate D caused a noise complaint. I'd have to partially agree w/ his assessment of himself, he's probably got some kind of autism. Or ADD. And procrastination like crazy. Seems he forgot that it was after midnight and he was blasting his computer speakers. It's like dude, you looked at when Smackdown ended(12) and then saw part of Daily Show and Colbert Report, how can you not know it was after 12?! And why didnt' I tell him to turn the damn thing down? B/c I'm not his mom. I'm not around to pick up after him, so I don't clean the dishes he leaves in the sink for days. I'm not going to cook for him (after he made the comment that it's like still being married (H's in Korea) b/c it's nice to come home to a warm meal) but he's welcome to eat the leftovers (b/c I always cook lots so I don't have to cook the next day) but he never does and it's not my problem. I don't tell him to eat, b/c it's his responsibility. Actually I suppose I am pretty poed at him, b/c it's that Chinese/Jewish/fill-in-archetype-here motherly/grandmotherly type who makes sure that everyone is fed to their gills, and I know I'll bug T to eat better if all I see is him eating crackers for lunch.

And now I get to take over another team for 3 weeks while the TL goes on vacation. Which will probably mean that I'll want another few days off afterwards b/c the team is like pretty cruddy. So many of them have disciplinary actions against them, and a couple of them hate each other, it's crazy.

Semi-Review: Weib Kreuz Gluhen

Yes, I finally saw Gluhen. I'd gotten the boxset on Boxing Day (how apropos) and finally set aside the time to watch all 3 discs (a day each, 325+ min is a bit long to sit/lay around). Visually, much better than the first series. Everything looked very clean, no problems w/ the art, characters stayed true to their design. Plotwise, it was much better, tighter scripting and events that tied together and made sense. So altogether a major step up from the first one. The story itself isn't really anything we hadn't seen before: clones, crazy school churning out soldier trying to take over the world. I've never been a Yohji fan, and it was a "agh! My eyes!" when he was in his swimsuit floating in the pool. (Omi, Aya, Ken in skivvies is perfectly ok w/ me). And when Yohji did a major betrayal (to spoil or not to spoil? It is over 3 yrs old now.... eh whateverl), I was cheering for Aya to kick his scrawny butt. Too bad about Kyo, he did have a lotta potential. And they really like picking on the young guys don't they? First Omi and then Sena.

Anyways, on to the more important thing. The lovely lovely seiyuus. Can you say squeal-fest?! Or it would have been except that would've drowned out their sex-shi voices, so it was really more a hold-breath fest. Didn't pass out b/c no one had long monologues or soliloquies. I wonder if it was Yuuki-san's voice that they digitized for Persia? They changed it so much, you can't even tell, so unless it's just the pacing for how he speaks...but when it was him, he was so cute. Such a difference between his Persia/Mamoru/Omi voices. Anyways, fine work as always from the rest of Weib, kinda surprised how late they brought in Ken and Yohji. However the major cause for rewind-hold breath-rewind was Seki Toshihiko as Knight. *sigh* When he did his sex-shi sex-shi voice playing chess with Queen... *drool* However some notables seiyuus and their other roles: Berger is Maxima from KOF, Sena is Ranma/Inu Yasha, Tsuji is Major Kusanagi from GITS, Bishop is Clavis from Angelique, Rook has a couple roles from Saiyuki Reload, Pawn is Neji from Naruto, and of course Schwarz members are all popular seiyuus w/ major notable roles. Anyways, I dunno if it was a matter of friends working on the show or just really sweet contracts, but Weib has major seiyuu power behind them, and it's not just the Weib members.

Oh and disc-wise, aside from the major annoyance of the box having a corner dented in, and when I took off the damn security tape (is taping on all 3 sides really necessary?!) b/c the cover wasn't placed properly, the tape was stuck to it, and I'd already majorly creased the paper trying to pull it down. So I had to rip the stupid tape off, and hence some of the cover on the edge. I really really hate that. But that's not MediaBlasters/AnimeWorks fault. What they could work on is: presenting the Japanese credits, having romanji for the opening/closing. C'mon, it's not that hard! Their subtitles are adequate, not great but does get the meaning across. The extras w/ the Weib Kreuz Radio was sugoi as usual. Poor Yuuki-san. He's just so formal and polite, and Koyasu-san and Seki-san seem to love to tease him. They seem to leave Shinichiro-san sorta alone, but then again, he's just quiet but can gutter-talk as well as those 2. Shinichiro-san and Seki-san are really good artists, but poor Yuuki-san! I like his tora though. It wasn't a great drawing, but it was cute. So I guess for extras, sheerly on the silliness and fun of them together, they weren't bad. I'm not sure if trailers should count as part of extras, but at least they play the Japanese themes, and there's no English narrator. I dunno, it just bugs me. Seems wrong. And yeah, if the English track were on the other side of the disc, I'd probably color on the English side so I don't accidentally put it in the wrong way. Although the outtakes were quite amusing. Too many uses of "bitch" though. It was funny the first 3 times.

Lovely thing to distract and support: King of Fighters:Another Day Go Iori!